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Re: Miscarraige, 'insufficiency', stupid people, etc- another Valerie rant (sorry, long)
From: Barb (anonymous@obgyn.net)
Fri, 30 Aug 2002 21:34:44 -0500 (CDT)
Dear Valerie,
Hey,..if u want a vent partner...I am here for you.
Maybe we can get it all out together.
By the way....I already told that witch sister in law of mine off and
got my pleasure doing it.My husband's family stinks,as he does.
I've had no support from them,accept one of his sisters and one of his
brothers...the rest of them(can't even begin to count,as they multiply
like mice),are ignorant.
All I hear now is"give him a chance".They even explored the possibilty
with me this last week that we should adopt to make the marriage
better.Give me a break...I am forty one and in ill health.They should
mind their own business...all I did was for him.I suffered all the
miscarriages for him and then am told I am less of a woman because I
could not give him a child.
As if I need to give him another chance.That would make it 999 chances
then.
what am I stupid.Nope.I am getting my life back on track and putting
everything behind me.
Your story makes me want to vent about my last miscarriage when my
husband was too busy to come to the hospital to retrieve me.I had to
rely on my friend.
I forgive,but I never forget.
Oh,..gosh..you got me ranting and when I start,there is no stopping me.
email me if you wish at barbaracamara@yahoo.com-I am up late.will be
away from the computer till midnight..leaving the house with a friend to
VENT!over some iced tea and treating myself to quesadia's/
Rant all you want...I do it daily to whoever will listen...usually my
parrot...LOl!
Got to get it out and you can never vent too much.It is much better to
let it out now.I never did.I held it in for years.Now I never keep
anything inside...I am frank..I am human.I have mood swings,I get
bitchy,but that does not mean that I am a bad person.Just someone that
is going through a rough time.
After I get it out to someone that listens...I feel ten times better.
SO---JUST GET IT OUT AS MUCH AS YOU CAN-we are all here for you.
Take care.
Barb
>
>Thank you all... I am sorry to continue my rant, but I have to say THE
>SAGA CONTINUES! So I walk into work this morning and I feel HOT and
>sweaty... a co-worker says "what's with the spots on your face, I run
>to the mirror and see dozens upon dozens of blood red spots around my
>eyes and I begin to freak. I called my doctor, she said to come in, and
>I was fearing measles... it turns out I have petickyi(sp?) essentially
>I lost too much blood and/or platelets(sp?) during my miscarraige and
>have been working pretty hard to feel consistently busy, and so my body
>is bleeding out a bit, and my doctor said to go home and rest for the
>weekend so my body will make more platelets... I hate being home by
>myself now, I feel like there is nothing to do but sulk... I hate the
>fact that there is this never-ending notion that I am ALL ALONE, even
>though 2 weeks ago I wasn't alone even when I was walking around "by
>myself," I can't help but torture myself with the TV "Baby Story" on
>TLC, "Maternity Ward" & "Labor & Delivery" on Discovery... I hate this,
>why can't it just end!?!?!? When the hell will it just end?!?!?! The
>baby is gone, I am all alone, and every time I puke or learn more about
>what has gone wrong, or "participate" in pregnancy/miscarraige related
>health situations it feels like a slap in my face. Damn it all to hell,
>I am ANGRY and I feel like screaming, I spilled while cooking dinner
>last night and proceeded to fall to the floor and cry about spilling
>"EVERYTHING..." my husband was nearly speechless and what I want to know
>is WHEN THE HELL WILL IT ALL END... I don't remember my last
>miscarraige being this bad...
>
>Joy,
>I like your crystal ball comment... I have envisioned saying that a few
>dozen times...
>
>Barb,
>Your husbands family sucks, at least you won't miss them too much if you
>do decide to leave... (and maybe you can make a grand exit by telling
>that bitch off on behalf of all of us! :)
>
>Everyone- THANKS FOR THE SUPPORT... I forget who said it, but it is too
>true- one rant just doesn't quite cut it!
>
>--
>Valerie
>
>At Fri, 30 Aug 2002, Barb wrote:
>>
>>Dear Valerie,
>>
>>Reading through your post with great sympathy and so sorry for your
>>loss.
>>
>>I've been there-nine times.Nine miscarriages ,being told that it would
>>happen too.
>>
>>It was devestating...each one was worse...the last one took the toll on
>>me especially being in the fourth month.
>>
>>It ripped me apart inside and I too ,hated women with their babies and
>>that is just a normal response.
>>After my last miscarriage and my husbands family knowing how difficult
>>it was for me to talk about it and my frankness about how upset I was
>>that all in his family could get pregnant anytime they wanted..some
>>weren't even wanted..probably accidents,,,as all have at least
>>five+kids.Portugues family...they have kids galore and it bothered me so
>>much.
>>
>>Well..two weeks after my miscarriage we were at a wedding and my sister
>>in laww who is a real witch..comes up to me all happpy and tells me that
>>she is pregnant and maybe that my loss was her gain.She said god took my
>>baby and gave it to her.
>>Can you imagine my RAGE over this.She already had four kids at the
>>time...my thoughts were...why does she need another one.
>>This is a normal response to any loss and it will pass eventually.
>>
>>I haven't the words to express my sorrow over my losses and cannot find
>>the right words to say to you.
>>All I do know is it is good that you have gotten this off of your chest
>>and venting is good.
>>
>>Know we are all here for you.
>>
>>Barb
>>>
>>>I am so sorry, Valerie...I wish I had words to say. I am glad you can
>>>come here in vent. There are a lot of stupid people out there. Here is
>>>one that gets said to me all the time: "Don't worry it will happen." How
>>>in ^*&^ do they know???? Do they have a crystal ball? I identify.
>>>Joy
>>>
>>><snipped for space>
>>>>
>>>--
>>>Joy 29
>>>History of Endo and Infertility
>>>Maybe PCOS
>>>1 child 10-25-00
>>>TTC # 2 one year and counting....
>>>
>>--
>>Sincerely,
>>Barb C.
>>
--
Sincerely,
Barb C.
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