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Re: Miscarraige, 'insufficiency', stupid people, etc- another Valerie rant (sorry, long)
From: Valerie (anonymous@obgyn.net)
Fri, 30 Aug 2002 15:15:11 -0500 (CDT)
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Thank you all... I am sorry to continue my rant, but I have to say THE
SAGA CONTINUES! So I walk into work this morning and I feel HOT and
sweaty... a co-worker says "what's with the spots on your face, I run
to the mirror and see dozens upon dozens of blood red spots around my
eyes and I begin to freak. I called my doctor, she said to come in, and
I was fearing measles... it turns out I have petickyi(sp?) essentially
I lost too much blood and/or platelets(sp?) during my miscarraige and
have been working pretty hard to feel consistently busy, and so my body
is bleeding out a bit, and my doctor said to go home and rest for the
weekend so my body will make more platelets... I hate being home by
myself now, I feel like there is nothing to do but sulk... I hate the
fact that there is this never-ending notion that I am ALL ALONE, even
though 2 weeks ago I wasn't alone even when I was walking around "by
myself," I can't help but torture myself with the TV "Baby Story" on
TLC, "Maternity Ward" & "Labor & Delivery" on Discovery... I hate this,
why can't it just end!?!?!? When the hell will it just end?!?!?! The
baby is gone, I am all alone, and every time I puke or learn more about
what has gone wrong, or "participate" in pregnancy/miscarraige related
health situations it feels like a slap in my face. Damn it all to hell,
I am ANGRY and I feel like screaming, I spilled while cooking dinner
last night and proceeded to fall to the floor and cry about spilling
"EVERYTHING..." my husband was nearly speechless and what I want to know
is WHEN THE HELL WILL IT ALL END... I don't remember my last
miscarraige being this bad...
Joy,
I like your crystal ball comment... I have envisioned saying that a few
dozen times...
Barb,
Your husbands family sucks, at least you won't miss them too much if you
do decide to leave... (and maybe you can make a grand exit by telling
that bitch off on behalf of all of us! :)
Everyone- THANKS FOR THE SUPPORT... I forget who said it, but it is too
true- one rant just doesn't quite cut it!
--
Valerie
At Fri, 30 Aug 2002, Barb wrote:
>
>Dear Valerie,
>
>Reading through your post with great sympathy and so sorry for your
>loss.
>
>I've been there-nine times.Nine miscarriages ,being told that it would
>happen too.
>
>It was devestating...each one was worse...the last one took the toll on
>me especially being in the fourth month.
>
>It ripped me apart inside and I too ,hated women with their babies and
>that is just a normal response.
>After my last miscarriage and my husbands family knowing how difficult
>it was for me to talk about it and my frankness about how upset I was
>that all in his family could get pregnant anytime they wanted..some
>weren't even wanted..probably accidents,,,as all have at least
>five+kids.Portugues family...they have kids galore and it bothered me so
>much.
>
>Well..two weeks after my miscarriage we were at a wedding and my sister
>in laww who is a real witch..comes up to me all happpy and tells me that
>she is pregnant and maybe that my loss was her gain.She said god took my
>baby and gave it to her.
>Can you imagine my RAGE over this.She already had four kids at the
>time...my thoughts were...why does she need another one.
>This is a normal response to any loss and it will pass eventually.
>
>I haven't the words to express my sorrow over my losses and cannot find
>the right words to say to you.
>All I do know is it is good that you have gotten this off of your chest
>and venting is good.
>
>Know we are all here for you.
>
>Barb
>>
>>I am so sorry, Valerie...I wish I had words to say. I am glad you can
>>come here in vent. There are a lot of stupid people out there. Here is
>>one that gets said to me all the time: "Don't worry it will happen." How
>>in ^*&^ do they know???? Do they have a crystal ball? I identify.
>>Joy
>>
>><snipped for space>
>>>
>>--
>>Joy 29
>>History of Endo and Infertility
>>Maybe PCOS
>>1 child 10-25-00
>>TTC # 2 one year and counting....
>>
>--
>Sincerely,
>Barb C.
>
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