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Re: Feeling a bit low (please read)Wait wait wait!!! Let me make this more clear!
From: anonymous (anonymous@obgyn.net)
Mon, 15 Jul 2002 15:43:21 -0500 (CDT)
I wrote the first message...please remember..HE NEVER said anything
about it to me..he doesnt bring it up nor does he say mean or hurtful
things, I asked him point blank..and he is never dishonest with me...he
says he loves me too much to let that be a reason to not be with me. I
am the one who is insecure. I never would have known had I not asked,
but he is VERY good to me. I was asking more about what do I do to not
hate myself:(...I did it even when i was skinny ..yes its sad that
sometimes it bothers him, but he NEVER lets me know..I had to pry it out
of him (he hates to hurt my feelings) Aside from learning this he treats
me VERY well and he was willing to say "yes i have an issue with
weight..but I love you too much to let that keep me from being with
you". He tells me every night that he loves me SOOOOOO much and always
kisses me goodnight!
At Mon, 15 Jul 2002, Melissa wrote:
>
>Well I am so sorry to hear about your weight/boyfriend problems. I have
>had both problems with my ex's. I was with a man on and off for about
>10 years. In the later half of our relationship, he told me "I was to
>fat to F**K" Exact words. Tell me if that don't hurt. But he never had
>a problem when he did have sex with me. He was a lot smaller than me. I
>am 5'9 and 300lbs and he was 5'9 maybe 175-200lbs. I have tried to lose
>the weight for a very long time. I was deeply in love with him and
>would do just about anything to be with him. He was my high school
>sweetheart 1991-1993, but then he married my best friend and had a son
>with her. But they didn't make it, so he came back to me in 1997, we
>had been together from 1997-2001. Plus he was very obsessed with where
>I was, what I was doing. I couldn't do anything, if I went to the
>store, he wanted a receipt to prove that I was there at the store. I
>got so fed up with that. I wanted to marry him and have kids with him.
>But he said he had a son with my ex best friend and he didn't want any
>more. I was even willing to be with him after that. I was diagnosed
>with PCOS Jan 2001. He told me that was cool, cause he didn't want me
>to have kids anyway. After he told me some of those things. I realized
>I was better off without him. So I left him and lived my life alone and
>looked after me. I was not looking for anyone. When you are not
>looking, things happen.
>November 6th 2001. My life changed for the better. I found my soul
>mate. Brad, he is like me but as a male. I am 27 and he is 21. More
>intelligent than any other man I have ever been with. He used to weigh
>a whole lot maybe 400lbs+ now is 250lbs, maybe 275lbs at 6'2. The night
>I met him at a friends house, we talked about what we wanted in our
>futures and he wanted exactly what I wanted. It was like he opened my
>head and read it all. I told him I had PCOS and he said he would work
>around that and if we never had kids, he would be ok. But he wanted
>kids and would support me with whatever I wanted. I have celebrated 8
>wonderful months with him. We will be getting married in Jan 17 2004.
>He has never NEVER said a word to me about my weight and I have never
>been so more in love in my life. I can’t imagine a single day without
>him in my life, near me, kissing me, holding me.
>I never thought I would find someone that loved me, respected me, cared
>for me as much as I do for them.
>So please give this dude up and don’t give up. There is someone for
>everyone. GOOD LUCK, please email me anytime. I have pics I can show
>you.
>vidgirl@excite.com
>
>At Mon, 15 Jul 2002, anonymous wrote:
>>
>><Sigh> I am having boyfriend blues! :P I gained weight in the last two
>>months (I needed to lose about 30..now its up to 45+, but I lost about
>>40/50 over the last 2 years..just still am a bit chunky) and he told me
>>he has issues with weight. He says he loves me soooooooo much..more
>>than anyone he has ever known, but he also says that sometimes my
>>appearance bothers him and he doesnt find me physically attractive :( I
>>love him so much, and he didnt volunteer this info..I asked him straight
>>out one night, because I felt vibes that I wasnt quite that sexy to him.
>>He wants to be with me, and he doesnt bring it up or say "dont eat that"
>>blah blah, but knowing that he feels that way about extra weight makes
>>me feel self concious and insecure at times around him. He wants to
>>marry me and we are planning on January. I get angry about it
>>inside..we almost broke up..I told him..if I am not good enough for you
>>now, then we shouldnt get married. He was all tore up about it and
>>said.."I have weight issues..I want you to lose weight..but my wanting
>>to be with you and my love for you outweighs all that". I feel
>>pressured to lose weight..even though he doesnt INSIST on it or bring it
>>up. I dont feel "good enough" even though he kisses, hugs, and touches
>>me. I cant do this to myself again..I spent all my High School years
>>hating my body (even though I had a lovely figure):( My self loathing is
>>internal.... but part of me also says you are good..you are beautiful
>>despite the extra weight! I dont know how this will pan out, but I have
>>mixed feelings over it. I love him beyond words, but I want him to find
>>me totally attractive because he loves me ..who I am...what I mean to
>>him...I know extra weight doesnt always look that great..and I myself
>>want to get rid of it..but this is hard... any advice??
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