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Re: Feeling a bit low (please read)
From: Annaline (anonymous@obgyn.net)
Mon, 15 Jul 2002 13:30:15 -0500 (CDT)
I can't help but put my 2 cents worth in here. I have felt the way you
do. I am about 60 lbs over weight, and i have been for the last few
years. I finally met the most wonderful man in 1996, we met on a blind
date, dated for 3 years then married, we've now been married for 3
years... If this man loves you then he loves you for WHO you are not
WHAT you look like. As the old saying goes you have to love yourself
before anyone else can love you. It took me a long time to totally
understand this. But I was hurt very badly, and i took 2 years off from
dating, that is when i met this man. I was with a man just like your
discribing for a few years. In the end i found out that he was "getting
it" elsewhere and he wasn't very choosy, he gave me HPV and played
stupid til i threw a newpaper article at him explaining that it's an
STD. We split up a few days later. Please don't let this man make you
into something he wants. be what you want what you are comfortable
with... personally if i were in your shoes, i would tell him to
postpone the wedding and for him to do some soul searching to decide
what's important to him, the good person you are inside or the physical
being that he wants you to be.. Good luck and best wishes...
At Mon, 15 Jul 2002, anonymous wrote:
>
><Sigh> I am having boyfriend blues! :P I gained weight in the last two
>months (I needed to lose about 30..now its up to 45+, but I lost about
>40/50 over the last 2 years..just still am a bit chunky) and he told me
>he has issues with weight. He says he loves me soooooooo much..more
>than anyone he has ever known, but he also says that sometimes my
>appearance bothers him and he doesnt find me physically attractive :( I
>love him so much, and he didnt volunteer this info..I asked him straight
>out one night, because I felt vibes that I wasnt quite that sexy to him.
>He wants to be with me, and he doesnt bring it up or say "dont eat that"
>blah blah, but knowing that he feels that way about extra weight makes
>me feel self concious and insecure at times around him. He wants to
>marry me and we are planning on January. I get angry about it
>inside..we almost broke up..I told him..if I am not good enough for you
>now, then we shouldnt get married. He was all tore up about it and
>said.."I have weight issues..I want you to lose weight..but my wanting
>to be with you and my love for you outweighs all that". I feel
>pressured to lose weight..even though he doesnt INSIST on it or bring it
>up. I dont feel "good enough" even though he kisses, hugs, and touches
>me. I cant do this to myself again..I spent all my High School years
>hating my body (even though I had a lovely figure):( My self loathing is
>internal.... but part of me also says you are good..you are beautiful
>despite the extra weight! I dont know how this will pan out, but I have
>mixed feelings over it. I love him beyond words, but I want him to find
>me totally attractive because he loves me ..who I am...what I mean to
>him...I know extra weight doesnt always look that great..and I myself
>want to get rid of it..but this is hard... any advice??
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