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Feeling a bit low (please read)From: anonymous (anonymous@obgyn.net)Mon, 15 Jul 2002 11:26:58 -0500 (CDT)
<Sigh> I am having boyfriend blues! :P I gained weight in the last two months (I needed to lose about 30..now its up to 45+, but I lost about 40/50 over the last 2 years..just still am a bit chunky) and he told me he has issues with weight. He says he loves me soooooooo much..more than anyone he has ever known, but he also says that sometimes my appearance bothers him and he doesnt find me physically attractive :( I love him so much, and he didnt volunteer this info..I asked him straight out one night, because I felt vibes that I wasnt quite that sexy to him. He wants to be with me, and he doesnt bring it up or say "dont eat that" blah blah, but knowing that he feels that way about extra weight makes me feel self concious and insecure at times around him. He wants to marry me and we are planning on January. I get angry about it inside..we almost broke up..I told him..if I am not good enough for you now, then we shouldnt get married. He was all tore up about it and said.."I have weight issues..I want you to lose weight..but my wanting to be with you and my love for you outweighs all that". I feel pressured to lose weight..even though he doesnt INSIST on it or bring it up. I dont feel "good enough" even though he kisses, hugs, and touches me. I cant do this to myself again..I spent all my High School years hating my body (even though I had a lovely figure):( My self loathing is internal.... but part of me also says you are good..you are beautiful despite the extra weight! I dont know how this will pan out, but I have mixed feelings over it. I love him beyond words, but I want him to find me totally attractive because he loves me ..who I am...what I mean to him...I know extra weight doesnt always look that great..and I myself want to get rid of it..but this is hard... any advice??
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