Re: Edited version - Ethics of a hasty marriage for insurance...
From: tera (anonymous@obgyn.net)
Sat, 29 Jun 2002 22:06:58 -0500 (CDT)
Hi!
I've been out of town and out of the loop so I haven't read all of your
responses yet but my advice - don't lie. I've heard of LOTS of people
first getting married quickly for various reasons and then having a big
shindig later on with all of their guests KNOWING that the couple is
already married and that they decided to have the big ceremony
afterwards to publically exchange vows and celebrate with friends. You
don't have to NOT tell your guests that you are already married and be
untruthful about the whole thing - If you're planning on getting married
anyway, I feel this is the best of both worlds. You don't want the
option of NOT having insurance even for a short time - things happen and
that could make you go through financial hardship. And hey, if you're
worried about a civil ceremony being "unreligious" - God is omnipresent
- don't worry, He'll show up. : ) God bless, Tera
At Mon, 24 Jun 2002, jodi wrote:
>
>Hey ladies... I need some input.
>
>My fiance and I were planning an October 2003 wedding (as you all know
>from my honeymoon inquiries...) All of our plans were going nicely, we
>had the location, the DJ, the caterer, we were looking into flowers and
>cake... and then last week, we learn that his new company (we move in
>August) will not cover me under the insurance plan unless we're married.
>This MIGHT sound like a no-brainer but in the description of benefits he
>was given, it said that benefits applied to spouses and domestic
>partners. We figured after 3 years of being together and wedding plans
>in the making, I counted as a domestic partner, but I don't. Domestic
>partner only applies to gays...
>
>So, I see a few options here. One, get married right away civilly, and
>have a real wedding next fall. Two, don't get married , and hope I can
>find a job with good health insurance myself. Three, Go a year-plus
>without insurance, stretching my stockpiled meds out as long as
>possible, and hope nothing too major occurs... (Or, I could stay here,
>where I have great insurance, and move out there after we're married...
>but that would mean more than a year apart and I don't even want to
>seriously consider that idea...)
>
>Well, I have to say, option one looks the best. Yes, I might find a job
>with insurance but what if I don't? Or, what if I find a job with poor
>insurance? However, I have to say, I feel awfully dishonest inviting
>100-some people to a wedding without their knowing the bride and groom
>are already technically married... We're not looking at treating this
>civil thing as a real wedding, though. We'll get all the financial
>benefits of being married, but we're not going to exchange rings, I'm
>not going to change my name, we're not planning on telling anyone
>besides our parents, no honeymoon... and I really wouldn't feel right
>without at least a slightly religious ceremony...
>
>Anyway... input here? What would you do in this situation? I have
>always been a terrible liar, and this feels somehow dishonest to me...
>but I don't know what else to do. I always wanted a real wedding, we
>can't afford one right now, but we sort of have to get married now.
>
>BTW any one have experience with Aetna insurance? Good, bad, with regard
>to PCOS?
>
>- jodi
--
Tera
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