PCOS Messages for June, 2002: Re: Ethics of a hasty marriage for insurance...

Re: Ethics of a hasty marriage for insurance...

From: jodi (anonymous@obgyn.net)
Mon, 24 Jun 2002 11:01:10 -0500 (CDT)

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At Mon, 24 Jun 2002, Renee wrote: >
>Personally, I wouldn't go for the secret civil wedding with a big one a year
>later. It will come out later, somehow. A comment about which anniversary to
>celebrate or how many years it's been, a bit of gossip, an unexpected
>pregnancy the first year, subtle looks between you two when plans are being
>made or you are asked how it feels to be a newlywed when it's been a year,
>etc. It could come back to bite you. Secrets are notoriously hard to keep for
>long periods of time.

Well, we've already decided that our anniversary will be the day we origianlly picked for our wedding. I know my mother won't tell, because I trust her, and I know my father won't tell, because he'd be afraid of it reflecting on him in some weird way. As for the unexpected pregnancy, that could happen even if we don't get married... or does marriage increase your fertility? :-) Just kidding... But hey, if I do accidentally get pregnant, I could then say but hey folks, we are married!

>
>You can get short-term catastrophic insurance. You would have to pay for the
>routine stuff, but if something major happened (accident, surgery, etc.), then
>you'd have insurance when you most needed it. I had to go this route when I
>was changing jobs once, since I wouldn't be eligible for insurance for 4 months.

How do you obtain this insurance? I am afraid of being turned down for insurance due to PCOS, now that this insurance/PCOS discussion has cropped up (well, and has since died down...) Is this expensive? Who do you get it from? And it's routine stuff I'm worried about paying for... glucophage, blood work, etc... expensive expensive expensive...

>
>Consider a smaller, simpler wedding. I' ve seen some beautiful ones. Friends
>got married with a dozen close friends and family in a beautiful indoor garden
>(Christmastime), and had the reception dinner in a banquet room in an inn with
>a string trio playing. Outdoors in a park. In a historic meeting house with
>about 80 people. We had a church wedding, but had only about 50 guests. We
>had no flowers, except for my simple bouquet, because the church was beautiful
>and the sanctuary was filled with stained glass. We had our reception at a
>picnic site in the local national forest (in the mountains). We had a
>cookout, and told people to change into shorts or jeans. I put on a shorter
>dress and hiking boots. My dress ($300) cost more than the whole reception.
>We had the people we most cared about there, not the co-workers of parents,
>cousins haven't seen in 10 years, parents' aunts and uncles I barely know.

Well, we've considered it. But I really feel like if I don't have a real wedding, I am going to spend the rest of my life regretting not having had a real wedding... not to mention, I want a fall wedding, and it's summer now, nasty sticky and hot. Yuck. I do like the picnic area reception idea though... might have to look into anything being suitable around here... It could work, we'll see.

>
>You may find people offering you a lot of help. Accept it. We luckily had
>friends who were a graphic designer and had a printing business. So, they
>designed and printed our program as a gift, for example. Or, people will help
>do lots of things for you to get ready. Is there a chance of borrowing the
>money from various parents to have the wedding this year, and pay it back next year?
>

Nope... our parents are offering NOTHING. Three out of four have nothing to offer, one just doesn't want to offer for some understandable but tangled up reasons. That's why we are waiting until next year to have this. We're both just out of college, so paying for anything much now, especially after putting over a thousand dollars down on deposits on the reception/ceremony place and the caterer and the DJ, isn't a possibility. We've really got everything set up for next year, aside from flowers and cake... and our plans were all so perfect... I really feel like I'd regret giving that up for the rest of my life, and then might ultimately force my own dream wedding onto one of our children. Bad bad bad!

>Just some things to think about.

Yup. You do raise some good points.

>
>Renee
>

Next message: jodi: "Re: Ethics of a hasty marriage for insurance..."
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In reply to: Renee: "Re: Ethics of a hasty marriage for insurance..."
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