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Edited version - Ethics of a hasty marriage for insurance...From: jodi (anonymous@obgyn.net)Mon, 24 Jun 2002 08:55:25 -0500 (CDT)
Hey ladies... I need some input. My fiance and I were planning an October 2003 wedding (as you all know from my honeymoon inquiries...) All of our plans were going nicely, we had the location, the DJ, the caterer, we were looking into flowers and cake... and then last week, we learn that his new company (we move in August) will not cover me under the insurance plan unless we're married. This MIGHT sound like a no-brainer but in the description of benefits he was given, it said that benefits applied to spouses and domestic partners. We figured after 3 years of being together and wedding plans in the making, I counted as a domestic partner, but I don't. Domestic partner only applies to gays... So, I see a few options here. One, get married right away civilly, and have a real wedding next fall. Two, don't get married , and hope I can find a job with good health insurance myself. Three, Go a year-plus without insurance, stretching my stockpiled meds out as long as possible, and hope nothing too major occurs... (Or, I could stay here, where I have great insurance, and move out there after we're married... but that would mean more than a year apart and I don't even want to seriously consider that idea...) Well, I have to say, option one looks the best. Yes, I might find a job with insurance but what if I don't? Or, what if I find a job with poor insurance? However, I have to say, I feel awfully dishonest inviting 100-some people to a wedding without their knowing the bride and groom are already technically married... We're not looking at treating this civil thing as a real wedding, though. We'll get all the financial benefits of being married, but we're not going to exchange rings, I'm not going to change my name, we're not planning on telling anyone besides our parents, no honeymoon... and I really wouldn't feel right without at least a slightly religious ceremony... Anyway... input here? What would you do in this situation? I have always been a terrible liar, and this feels somehow dishonest to me... but I don't know what else to do. I always wanted a real wedding, we can't afford one right now, but we sort of have to get married now. BTW any one have experience with Aetna insurance? Good, bad, with regard to PCOS? - jodi
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