PCOS Messages for May, 2002: Re: Anyone have to talk a partner into TTC?

Re: Anyone have to talk a partner into TTC?

From: Donna (anonymous@obgyn.net)
Mon, 6 May 2002 16:59:39 -0500 (CDT)

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Wow! I just went through this with my husband. I am 25 and have PCOS. I went off the pill a year ago and am now taking fertility drugs. It was/is a really tough decision. My husband really didn't get the urgency and the fear. I asked him if he would choose now or never- he choose never, I choose now. It took about six months before we both agreed to start the drugs. It was a horrible emotional time. What changed my husband from never to now was when I gave into him. I told him honestly that I was afraid of having kids but that I was more afraid of not having them and knowing I missed my change. I told him of my fear of resenting him. Then in all honestly I agreed to forgo them, I told him the truth-- which is that he is my number one priority and that no matter how much I want kids, I want him to be happy and am wiling to do as he wishes. I told him that I was willing to live without if he was willing to deal with me living without, that it was going to be rough at times (like when his three sisters have kids) but that I respect his wishes. He came back a week later and said go for it. He has been behind me ever since and says that he was motivated by fear (he doesn't want our lives to change or risk my heath). He was afraid to say he wanted kids, because even with the drugs I am still not pregnant (I am in month 2 of the drugs now) and he didn't want to make me feel bad if it turns out I can't.

Every husband is different, but a little time for his comfortablity is worth it (as much as you don't want to resent him I'm sure you don't want him to resent you). Ask him to walk in your shoes. Also, I would recomend going in for hormone testing at your ob/gyn...find out what it would take to get pregnant now. Find out for sure what you are dealing with and make an informed decision off of that. Also, find out how fast moving your Dr. is, lots of Dr. will have you try stuff that isn't working for months to prove it isn't working. Get a time frame, ask if this doesn't work, what next?

At Fri, 3 May 2002, anonymous wrote: >
>I'm wondering if any of you here have had to point out to your men that
>"waiting until we're ready" isn't necassarily the best approach when you
>already know you have fertility issues... I feel as if if we "wait
>until we're ready" we will miss our chance altogether, and I will spend
>the rest of my life resenting my husband. I would be perfectly content
>to wait if I was joe-average-fertile woman, but having PCOS... I'm
>afriad that if we wait until I'm, say, 30 (I'll be 26), there just won't
>be enough time.
>
>Anyone else go through this?

--
Good luck,
Donna

Next message: Panacea: "Re: ? about Chromium GTF"
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In reply to: anonymous: "Anyone have to talk a partner into TTC?"
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