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Re: Could use support

From: Don (anonymous@obgyn.net)
Thu, 21 Mar 2002 13:24:24 -0600 (CST)

Mel, I am sorry to hear that you have joined the group of PCOS diagnosed. First, I am a male, who is married to a PCOS sufferer now for 13 years. I cant even begin to empathize with what all the women on this board go through, but I see it daily with my wife. They have been good to me in helping me get information to my wife and to help us deal with this disease. Perhaps your email is a chance for me to give back to you and them. From a male view, and your husbands standpoint he will always love you and you should never doubt that, and right now his primary care is for your health. Sooner or later he will begin to question what caused this, and he too will feel anxious over children and family. Allow him to be supportive, but make it a two way street. Giving him literature, but not volumes helps him understand what you are going through and what to expect. It will also give him hope about family,(Many PCOS sufferers do conceive and have families). One of my fears was that somehow I had contributed to or caused the disease (I am a cancer survivor and one of my crazy ideas was that sex while on Chemo had caused this). Assure him that it is nature and not environment, that you did nothing to "GET THIS" and that he did not cause it either. Include him on all of your doctor visits so that he feels involved. There is nothing more fearful for a man than feeling "out of control" Also make sure he knows that sometimes PCOS may affect your desire for sex. I went through a spell where I felt rejected by my wife and had a very deep complex about it. Until, one day our doctor told us that PCOS and the medicines for it can cause this affect.. WHEW!!!!! The more educated he is, and the more involved he is, the better you can face this together. Many hopes to you for a wonderful married life, may it be as rich as mine is......If your husband needs another "GUY" to speak with or has questions he can email me directly and I will try to help.

At Thu, 21 Mar 2002, Mel wrote: >
>Hang in there, i know how it feels, we tried for a while and head some
>fertility treatment, we have decided to take the adoption route as it is
>the best option for us. Pleople mean well, but unlless they are in your
>shoes they cant really understand.. I found councilling really helped.
>There are people here to support you. It gets easier, read as much as
>you can, PCOS the hidden epidemic is a great book , really informative .
>Met has helped a great deal.
>Take care of your self
>we are here for you feel free to mail me direct on
>melaniepoxon@slough.gov.uk
>Mel
>
>At Thu, 21 Mar 2002, Crissy wrote:
>>
>>Hi - I'm a 35 year old newlywed trying to conceive. After going off the
>>pill and not getting periods, having some adult acne and mild hair
>>growth, my ob-gyn has started diagnosis for PCOs. I'm okay/comfortable
>>with the medical care and information, but have found that I am
>>depressed and feel very isolated right now. My friend are either single
>>and can't relate or have kids already and keep giving me all the well
>>meaning platitudes. I could use some encouraging words and support! I
>>know I'm just at the beginning here and would like to get a handle on my
>>emotions. My husband has been great but I keep falling apart on him.

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