PCOS Messages for February, 2002: Re: Nervous about confronting

Re: Nervous about confronting

From: Kimberly (anonymous@obgyn.net)
Tue, 19 Feb 2002 16:37:38 -0600 (CST)

Messages sorted by: [ date ][ thread ][ subject ][ author ]
Next message: Alexa: "Question on hair growth and PCOS"
Previous message: anonymous: "Nervous about confronting"
In reply to: anonymous: "Nervous about confronting"
Next in thread: Panacea: "Re: Nervous about confronting"

It sounds to me like you have built this up into such a secret and a huge issue that you mostly feel you can't get treatment or come clean to your husband because you feel you will have to lie to them. I did the same thing when I was younger and had a suspicious mole. I was so sure that I had cancer and was going to die - and I lived in fear for at least two years. I would constantly think of ways to let my parents know without telling them that I had been suffering internally for so long. I thought if I told them they would become crazy with fear and rush me to the hospital and then I would feel bad because I had know I was dying for so long.

Okay, it's not quite the same ;) - but I do understand the fear of telling someone (including a dr.) that you suspect you have something that you have known about for some time.

Well, what happened in my 'cancer' case? I non-chalantly told them I saw a weird mole and they said I should just go have it looked at that week and not to worry.

And it was over. My years of crying and searching through library books to find a similiar mole was over. And I didn't have cancer.

Looking at my story perhaps you can see how kind of silly it is to suffer alone when the only person who has anything to lose is yourself. If you tell your husband you don't think everything is alright with your horomones then you can get treatment and not only will your secret be lifted from your shoulders, but you will also get the treatment you need to get better!

I don't see any reason your husband needs to know how long you've been shaving. Just tell him that you saw an article in a magazine (woman's day has a good one this month) and you have noticed it's been easier for you to gain weight and you have more hair than you used to. He'll probably be slightly interested and then tell you to go to the dr. and find out. Men just don't care about that kind of stuff as much as women do. And I'm sure he would NEVER believe you put so much effort into worrying about all this for so long - so I don't see that you will have to hide that from him because I don't think he'd even imagine it. Men just don't do that kind of thing. Your other option is to tell him you read the article and simply talk about other symptoms you're having - such as weight gain, irregular cycles etc. Maybe then he'll read the article and see the hair growth thing and will just not make any big deal about it - but in the future if he notices you can tell him it's just one of the symptoms of PCOS.

I also think you should consider going to a new dr. (preferably a reproductive endocrinologist) Not only because you will not feel you have kept a secret from a new dr. - but also because if your dr. did not seem to put two-and-two together that you had PCOS, they probably will not treat it properly either. You could also take the Women's Day article into your dr. and say this sounded suspicously like you.

Coming clean about this 'secret' is kind of like jumping into a cold pool. The first step is almost painful - but after you get used to it you will feel just fine and wonder why you have wasted so much time feeling bad.

On top of that there are the health issues you need to address. You simply must get medical help! You can avoid diabetes, you can lose weight, you can lighten the hair (or at least not feel you constantly have to hide it), you can lower your risk for stroke and heart disease - and most of all you can feel better all day long with proper blood sugar levels and fewer food cravings and mood changes (if your suffering those too). There is really just no reason to hide this any longer, and from your post I know you are ready. Just jump in, you won't regret it! After you make the first step and say the words "I think something is wrong with me or my horomones" it will be all over and I have no doubt you will be met with either support or a slight lack of interest (from your husband) but I'm sure you will will not be met with the response that you are apparently fearing you will get. (that everyone will think you are a freak, or that you are unlovable etc...)

I wish you the best of luck and wish I could help more. I really know how painful it is to keep secrets like this and it just breaks my heart that sometimes life has to be so hard. You aren't alone.

--
Kimberly

At Tue, 19 Feb 2002, anonymous wrote:
>
>I finally got up the nerve to ask my GYN last spring about my excess
>hair.  She sort of blew it off and gave me a RX for Vaniqua.  I never
>filled the RX.  I'm pretty sure though that I've got PCOS and need to
>deal with that soon.
>
>I've dealt with the facial hair for years.  To this day I'm not sure if
>my husband has never noticed or has just noticed and not said anything.
>I shave usually every day.  And if I haven't recently shaved I'm very
>careful not to let him touch my face.
>
>Within the last year shaving isn't even working as well.  I'm getting
>bumps which I never used to get so even after I'm done my skin is
>irritated looking and bumpy.
>
>I know I need to deal with this health issue but I'm just looking for
>some feedback on how people deal with this part of it.  I'm beyond
>embarassed to mention it to my husband.  And at this point I'm also
>scared that once I do mention it that he'll be really hurt that I never
>let him in on this before.
>
>Growing up I rarely had regular periods.  The only really excessive hair
>I have is on my face.  I have a history of diabetes in my family and I'm
>quite overweight.  So I know that I have issues to deal with such as
>diet and exercise as well as medical issues to deal with under a
>doctor's care.  But it's the mental issues that I think I dread the
>most.
>
>Has anyone else been here? I don't like showering with my husband
>because it cuts into my shaving time quite often.  I'm wary of wearing
>my hair up and rarely let him really touch my face.  I find myself
>thinking about it and worrying about it quite often and even now typing
>this I'm again near tears.

Next message: Alexa: "Question on hair growth and PCOS"
Previous message: anonymous: "Nervous about confronting"
In reply to: anonymous: "Nervous about confronting"
Next in thread: Panacea: "Re: Nervous about confronting"

use when must restrict search to only the pcos forum...
Enter search keywords:
	Returns per screen: Require all keywords: