Re: Supportive Husband again - - Aren't you cool?!
From: tera (anonymous@obgyn.net)
Sun, 27 Jan 2002 21:13:57 -0600 (CST)
Hi!
I just had to write to let you know how impressed I am by your post!
About your wife being in denial - it's not good but I can't blame her.
PCOS is a lot to try to wrap your mind around. I found out about my
PCOS a snippet at a time and that was perfect for me. I was able to
deal with PCOS and its affects a little at a time instead of all at
once. It took a while for me to come to terms with my PCOS and to
accept PCOS as my reality - infertility issue and all.
I too am married. The best gift my husband can give me is a listening
ear and patience and unconditional love. I do not look like I did when
my husband and I first met when I was sixteen. I'm much heavier, have
body hair and have not been able to get pregnant. My hair is now
beginning to thin! I need my husband's reassurance that he will love me
no matter what syndrome I have, what I look like, or whether or not I
can become pregnant with his child. Your wife and I have enough on our
plates with the PCOS and do not want to worry about the steadfastness of
our husband's love. It is also really great when I can come to my
husband for the fiftieth time and tell him about how much it hurts my
heart to have my hair falling out, or about how difficult it is that my
pregnancy test was negative again. I don't want a solution, I just want
a listening ear and some validation and understanding. I want his arm
around me and to hear him say "Honey, that must be so hard. I'm here
for you whenever you need me. I'll love you and will stay by your side
child or no child. It doesn't matter that your hair is thinning - I
hardly notice - you are sooo beautiful!" I echo everything that Kim
said.
My husband and I have also had our marital problems. BIG ONES. Our
marriage is far from perfect and PCOS can add additional strain in any
relationship. We did get married "for better, for worse and in sickness
and in health" though, right? I do not believe that you and your wife
got married by accident. I believe that she is your gift and you are
hers regardless of what happens between you or what comes your way in
life. Keep up the good work, buddy. A lot of men could learn a few
things from you! God bless you! Tera
At Sun, 27 Jan 2002, kim wrote:
>
>Your a good husband.
>The thing I love most is when my husband listens to me complain, cry,
>whatever. I know he is not going anywhere - no matter what. So, I feel safe
>and completely loved, listened to, and respected. It sounds like you are the
>same way. You are far and few between!!!
>Hang in there, and keep on reading.
>Kim
>
>>From: anonymous@obgyn.net (anonymous)
>>Reply-To: anonymous@obgyn.net
>>To: Multiple recipients of list PCOS <anonymous@obgyn.net>
>>Subject: Supportive Husband again
>>Date: Sat, 26 Jan 2002 09:22:51 -0600
>>
>>I'd like to thank everyone of you for your input on this. All your
>>input has been comforting to me. Ever since she told me exactly what
>>she had I've spent countless hours reading and learning, arming myself.
>>Someone suggested a book, PCOS - The Hidden Epidimic, I ordered that
>>book 10 minutes after it was suggested and had it rushed to my office,
>>it arrived the next day.
>>One thing I must say at this point, I have admiration and respect for
>>EVERY woman out there going thru this. and those of you that responded
>>to my post, your strength and support has given me strength.
>>Yes, there are other issues between my wife and I, nothing large, just a
>>lot of little things. When we got married we were very poor. Too poor
>>in fact to afford the treatment she needed, even if she had asked for
>>it. Knowing all this now makes me sad. I have come to the conclusion
>>that my wife has been in denial of all of this, or so it seems. Now I
>>am more financially stable, I have a great job, and a great wife. and
>>even if our differances drive us apart I plan on helping her thru this
>>in any and every way I can.
>>My original post was vague someone claimed, this is true, I left out
>>alot of information, but you all have helped me, thank you. This is an
>>odd moment for me and my wife. We both come from large families and
>>both want to have a family. But after knowing this, and knowing there
>>is a chance of not having a family of our own, it makes me love my wife
>>even more, and it shows me how strong she really is, and how strong my
>>love for her is. I'll keep you all posted as to the outcome of this
>>situation. I'm sure some of you would like to know.
>>
>>Thank you,
>>Supportive Husband - Detroit Michigan
>>
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--
Tera
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