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Re: Supportive husband
From: Sonnet (anonymous@obgyn.net)
Fri, 25 Jan 2002 02:00:04 -0600 (CST)
You poor things, what a terrible time to be going through! I have so
much admiration for how you're trying to help your wife deal with this
very scary diagnosis. Please hang in there - you have a lot of love for
each other, it sounds like, and having PCOS would be a silly reason to
give up on that love. You know about 1 in 5 women, they think, has
PCOS. That's a big number! And while fertility can be an issue, it is
an issue that is almost always able to be treated successfully. The
whole "PCOS Package" is one that can be managed quite well given the
right treatment (and if you have health insurance especially, that
treatment is not very expensive at all! Even without it costs maybe
$150/month or so, depending. You can do that!)
We're going to be out of town this week but I'd love to talk to you
more. If you like, I'd be happy to have my husband chat with you as
well. We're both 25, like you, and we were married Jan 2000 - so pretty
close to you guys :) He's been so great about everything, I went through
a big phase of wanting to leave my husband so he wouldn't have to deal
with this too. Now we're really stronger than ever - just let me know.
I can also put you in contact with resources in your area. Drop me
email any time. :)
At Wed, 23 Jan 2002, anonymous wrote:
>
>I'm sorry to be posting anonymously but it is to protect the privacy of
>my wife. I'm not even sure if I shoud even be posting to this board but
>I somehow feel compelled to seek further advice.
>A little over a wek ago my wife started seeming depressed, alot. When
>we finally sat down and talked to each other she said something that I
>never thought I'd hear from her. She told me she wanted a divorce, and
>her reason being that "she didn't want to be married anymore". After a
>while she came out and gave me the real reason, she has PCOS. I'd never
>heard of this before. I know that before we got married she said she
>had fertility problems but I was under the impression that we would be
>able to have children as long as some sort of hormonal treatment was
>applied. But I never knew how serious it really was. She said that she
>can't be married anymore knowing that we can never have what a married
>couple wants, children.
>Since then I've been reading as much as possible on PCOS. It seems that
>there is a chance but it costs quite alot of money. To me it would be
>worth it. I'd take on a second job just in order to pay for the
>treatments and hospital visits needed to accomplish this. I love my
>wife.
>What I need advised on is how should I comfort my wife? I'm scared to
>talk to her about this, she cries every time the subject is brought up
>and I can't bare to see her crying. I want to let her know that it is
>her that I married and not the idea of having children, though I really
>do want children, but I want her more. No time sems like the right time
>to talk to her, it's all I can do when we lie in bed at night to not cry
>about this. We are a young couple, around age 26 each, and we have been
>married for over 2 years, I'm afraid that I'll never see the third year
>come to pass. I want to be supportive to my wife and give her what she
>needs/wants to make it thru this, but I don't want to lose her. Does
>anyone have any advice on how I can be more supportive to her without
>making her think of not being able to have children while doing so?
>Thank you.
--
Email always welcome: sonnet@pcosupport.org
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