|
Re: Supportive husband
From: anonymous@obgyn.net
Wed, 23 Jan 2002 11:18:28 -0600 (CST)
You sound like a wonderful husband!! My husband and I went through the
same things about a year ago when I was 26 and he was 29. I did the
same as your wife. I would suggest councelling for her, it really
helped to talk to someone. Maybe couple councelling might help too. Let
her know that you married her for her and not for her reproductive
system. Also think about how you feel on adoption and discuss it with
her. We are finally through the rough time and we are still together so
there is lots of hope for you. We are almost at the five year mark!!
Knowing how I felt she is likely feeling that she is a failure to you
and that you should be given the opportuity to go and find someone that
will be able to give you children. Just reassure her and stand by her.
There will be alot of tears and she will likely have to grieve for the
loss of her children. There is still lots of medical treatment out
there to help you try to concieve with constant advances. There is alot
of parents out there with PCOS so it can be done. I wish you the best
of luck. If she wants to talk sometime either of you can email me at:
denaecarrie@homtail.com
Take care and best wishes!
At Wed, 23 Jan 2002, anonymous wrote:
>
>I'm sorry to be posting anonymously but it is to protect the privacy of
>my wife. I'm not even sure if I shoud even be posting to this board but
>I somehow feel compelled to seek further advice.
>A little over a wek ago my wife started seeming depressed, alot. When
>we finally sat down and talked to each other she said something that I
>never thought I'd hear from her. She told me she wanted a divorce, and
>her reason being that "she didn't want to be married anymore". After a
>while she came out and gave me the real reason, she has PCOS. I'd never
>heard of this before. I know that before we got married she said she
>had fertility problems but I was under the impression that we would be
>able to have children as long as some sort of hormonal treatment was
>applied. But I never knew how serious it really was. She said that she
>can't be married anymore knowing that we can never have what a married
>couple wants, children.
>Since then I've been reading as much as possible on PCOS. It seems that
>there is a chance but it costs quite alot of money. To me it would be
>worth it. I'd take on a second job just in order to pay for the
>treatments and hospital visits needed to accomplish this. I love my
>wife.
>What I need advised on is how should I comfort my wife? I'm scared to
>talk to her about this, she cries every time the subject is brought up
>and I can't bare to see her crying. I want to let her know that it is
>her that I married and not the idea of having children, though I really
>do want children, but I want her more. No time sems like the right time
>to talk to her, it's all I can do when we lie in bed at night to not cry
>about this. We are a young couple, around age 26 each, and we have been
>married for over 2 years, I'm afraid that I'll never see the third year
>come to pass. I want to be supportive to my wife and give her what she
>needs/wants to make it thru this, but I don't want to lose her. Does
>anyone have any advice on how I can be more supportive to her without
>making her think of not being able to have children while doing so?
>Thank you.
|
|
![[ PCOS Discussion Forums ]](../../images/pcos_at_obgyn.gif)