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Re: Supportive husband
From: Mel (anonymous@obgyn.net)
Wed, 23 Jan 2002 08:56:44 -0600 (CST)
You are an amazing man! My husband and I had a simmilar trauma after 18
months of marriage, due to PCOS, failed fertility treatnebt and him not
'getting it' I decided to help myself, and we sought councilling
together and seperately, we are in the UK and councelling is less
expensive over here. I also started taking an anti-depressent because
for me it was the right thing to do, i am not saying run out and buy
prozac, but it was rightr for me, i know kava kava is a gret herbal
alternative to medicated anti-depressents. Let your wife know that she
can really rant at you and cry and it is ok because she needs to let it
out, it is grieving. Metformin has really helped me emotionally and i
am loosing weight, feeling more in controll and generally less
unreasonable. There are other choices for children, adoption being the
one we have decided on.
Do as much research as you can, there is a great book called ' pcos the
hidden epademic' it tells you every thing you and your life could need
to know. Try to find a sympathetic doctor and go with her to the
appointment armed with loads of information and stand your ground. This
could be a project to bring you closer together. Ask her to post here,
she will have all the support that she could dreeam for.
Please feel free to mail me direct on melaniepoxon@slough.gov.uk
Take care, hang in there
Mel
At Wed, 23 Jan 2002, anonymous wrote:
>
>I'm sorry to be posting anonymously but it is to protect the privacy of
>my wife. I'm not even sure if I shoud even be posting to this board but
>I somehow feel compelled to seek further advice.
>A little over a wek ago my wife started seeming depressed, alot. When
>we finally sat down and talked to each other she said something that I
>never thought I'd hear from her. She told me she wanted a divorce, and
>her reason being that "she didn't want to be married anymore". After a
>while she came out and gave me the real reason, she has PCOS. I'd never
>heard of this before. I know that before we got married she said she
>had fertility problems but I was under the impression that we would be
>able to have children as long as some sort of hormonal treatment was
>applied. But I never knew how serious it really was. She said that she
>can't be married anymore knowing that we can never have what a married
>couple wants, children.
>Since then I've been reading as much as possible on PCOS. It seems that
>there is a chance but it costs quite alot of money. To me it would be
>worth it. I'd take on a second job just in order to pay for the
>treatments and hospital visits needed to accomplish this. I love my
>wife.
>What I need advised on is how should I comfort my wife? I'm scared to
>talk to her about this, she cries every time the subject is brought up
>and I can't bare to see her crying. I want to let her know that it is
>her that I married and not the idea of having children, though I really
>do want children, but I want her more. No time sems like the right time
>to talk to her, it's all I can do when we lie in bed at night to not cry
>about this. We are a young couple, around age 26 each, and we have been
>married for over 2 years, I'm afraid that I'll never see the third year
>come to pass. I want to be supportive to my wife and give her what she
>needs/wants to make it thru this, but I don't want to lose her. Does
>anyone have any advice on how I can be more supportive to her without
>making her think of not being able to have children while doing so?
>Thank you.
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