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Scared and aloneFrom: Hope (anonymous@obgyn.net)Sat, 29 Dec 2001 22:07:10 -0600 (CST)
Hi, I've never written anything here before, but I've been reading these postings for a while. The more I read the more scared I get. My doctors ignored my symptoms for almost 12 years. Im sorry this is so long. I don't have anyone to talk to about this. I was diagnosed with PCOS a little over a year ago, but I 've realized through my research and readings that I have had this since I was about 11 or 12. All of the symptoms I am being treated for now, at age 24,were present then and had been with me constantly until recently. I didn't understand why I was severely depressed and suicidal, lethargic, dizzy, and hungry all the time, overweight despite constant diet and exercise. I had skin problems they diagnosed as psoriasis, headaches atleast 4 days a week, and nonexistant periods. I continually complained to my doctor for atleast 11 years of all of these things. She would just imply that I was a hypochondriac, she would never test me for anything. I started seeing a gyno at 13 but they always said that it was normal at my age to have irregular periods. I didn't know that this existed, so I didn't know what to do. I didn't know what to ask for. I started believing that I was a hypochondriac and started believing that my mind was the ultimate problem. Over the years I drank and did drugs to try to stop the pain of my depression. I attempted suicide 3 times and continually cut and burn my arms and legs. I saw 10 psychologists and therapists during this time. I checked myself into a rehab and then a mental institution when I was 18. I thought I was crazy. Life hurt so much and I wanted help. When I was 21 I finally saw an endochrinologist. She put me on birth control pills to help regulate my period, but still neglected to diagnose me. Within 3 months some of my symptoms were gone, the depression that I had everyday of my life for 10 years vanished magically. The headaches disappeared, my period reappeared a little bit and now i can function on 10 hours of sleep instead of 12 or 13. Now last year they finally diagnosed the PCOS and presribed glucophage and everything else has mostly subsided and I lost 40 lbs.I'm now having constant pelvic pain that my doctors are ignoring. Im scared it might be serious but I can't afford a second opinion. So, I was just wondering, was anyone else in so much pain? I don't know anyone else who has this. I felt like a monster for most of my life and finally im realizing what its like to be able to wake up and be able to function like a slightly normal human being. Im scared it won't last though. Im considering having my ovaries removed. I can't go through that pain again and the pain im in might not go away. Im trying to not even think about the infertility yet. So yeah that's my point, was it like this for any of you? Im sorry if it was.
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