PCOS Messages for October, 2001: Re: Follow up to Maybe a chance to meet (in real life) a fellow 'cyster...' adivce!!!

Re: Follow up to Maybe a chance to meet (in real life) a fellow 'cyster...' adivce!!!

From: Belle (anonymous@obgyn.net)
Mon, 29 Oct 2001 16:34:32 -0600 (CST)

Messages sorted by: [ date ][ thread ][ subject ][ author ]
Next message: SusieQ: "Re: Help! Not sure if metformin is helping..."
Previous message: Helen: "Sonnet: You Look Lovely!"
In reply to: jodi: "Follow up to Maybe a chance to meet (in real life) a fellow 'cyster...' adivce!!!"

Yeah, that might work. I would like to give you some things to think about though.

At Mon, 29 Oct 2001, jodi wrote: >
>OK... those of you who said asking would be prying into her personal
>life and might put her on the defense... true, I suppose... but
>doesn't this imply that having PCOS is something to be ashamed of? I
>personally do not wish to take that point of view about it. :-)

No, this is not implying that PCOS is something to be ashamed of. Neither is being rich or having sex every night but it is something that is really none of your business. When you flat out ask someone something that is clearly none of your business it is rude. That is all there is to it. You could be putting her on the defensive not because PCOS is something to be ashamed of but because it may not be anything that she cares to discuss. She may have been going through a death in the family or a job loss or something else that took presidence over plucking when you saw her before. She may be hoping that no one notices that she has facial hair (which could be related to something totally different from PCOS.)

>
>Those of you who said I should metion PCOS and see if she says
>anything... well, I don't like that tactic because to me that's like
>dropping hints. To me, that would be like meeting someone with a big
>scar on their forehead, and dying to know what it was from, and trying
>to steer the conversation to scars. I'm
>not big on dropping hints...
>
>ANYWAY i have figured out how i am going to bring this up... i think
>i'll just have to finagle a way of us unding up in a public bathroom
>together, and i'll just have to pluck a few chin hairs and bitch about
>it. see what happens. that way i am complaining about myself, not
>dropping hints... and it might open a line of conversation. if it
>doesn't, oh well... at least i won't have said anything about her or
>asked her any questions... how's that sound? weird, but possibly
>effective.
>
>- jodi

But you, yourself said that you were so "curious" about whether she had PCOS or not. Dropping hints is exactly what you would be doing if you stood in front of a mirror and talking about plucking hair. This is the exact same scenerio as with talking about facial scars just with hair and not scars. (VBG) ;-)

I talk about PCOS constantly, I have 'given' talks on PCOS in the past. I have presented it to a group of health care workers as part of 'rounds' before but even after all of this, I would be totally humbled if some stranger (or near stranger) started talking to me about problems with my facial hair or asked if I have PCOS. I have worked very hard to get back to a reasonable size. I am still nearly bald but I try to look neat and presentable at all times. If you came up to me with a statement about plucking hair, I would be self conscious about mine for the rest of the time I were with you. While the idea of complaing about your problems in order to bring up the subject is what I would suggest, you really *seem* to be obsessing about the facial hair thing. Perhaps you could find a more general complaint.

There are at least four possiblities going on with young lady. 1) She has PCOS, knows it and is trying to do something about it. In this case, you could be pointing out her failures in trying to be like other women. 2) She has PCOS, knows it and either has given up or doesn't know where to go. 3) She has PCOS and doesn't know. In these two cases, you have a real opportunity to do some good. You should take every effort not to blow it! You cannot impose your sensibilities on someone else. Please respect this lady as a person. 4)She has something that is not related to PCOS at all. The BCP for example can cause facial hair.

BTW, you have the perfect time to bring up PCOS to a stanger, you have someone that you talk to on the internet who is in a national magazine! How cool is that???!!! You can show her the picture of Sonnet and BANG, there it is!!! This is a great time to bring up PCOS to someone. :-)

Why am I hanging on to this so tightly? Because I know what it is like to watch the effects of PCOS. The potential for diabetes and heart disease is SO great that it would be a total shame if you had an opportunity to help someone and you ruined it because you came across in a manner which was too aggressive.

-- Hope the right thing comes to you,

Belle

Next message: SusieQ: "Re: Help! Not sure if metformin is helping..."
Previous message: Helen: "Sonnet: You Look Lovely!"
In reply to: jodi: "Follow up to Maybe a chance to meet (in real life) a fellow 'cyster...' adivce!!!"

Women's Insurance Checklist from Auto Insurance Quote

use when must restrict search to only the pcos forum...
Enter search keywords:
	Returns per screen: Require all keywords: