PCOS Messages for September, 2001: Re: General feelings

Re: General feelings

From: Jen (anonymous@obgyn.net)
Sat, 29 Sep 2001 23:09:18 -0500 (CDT)

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In reply to: Meaghan: "General feelings"

At Sat, 29 Sep 2001, Meaghan wrote: <snip> > I haven't had a boyfriend in 7 years, since high
>school. I think it is because I just can't see myself getting a bf,
>because of my weight, which is related to PCOS (which is why I am
>posting this here even though it is a little off topic).
<snip> It's totally related to PCOS, so I vote that it's not off topic at all. PCOS causes weight gain, which in turn causes all kinds of self-esteem issues for women. I read recently a report that a large percentage of women who are overweight have depression, but the same percentage of men who are overweight actually feel *better* than their non-overweight peers (or something like that).

Society sends the message that only thin women are valuable, sexy, smart, etc. (through movies, magazines, the fashion industry, etc.), so of *course* those of us who are overweight feel inferior. Largeness in women is associated with being poor, on welfare, etc., whereas largeness in men is associated with power and command.

Not that any of that is any comfort, other than to know where those feelings come from. What has worked for me is to surround myself with positive images of larger women, to do affirmations, and to try to take care of myself -- be it through massage, exercise, or something else. I think therapy helped me too, and medication (Prozac), so that I didn't dwell so much on what a shitty life I had with the hair, weight, etc. In fact, I met got together with the man who is now my husband one month after starting Prozac.

<snip>So what I am >asking, I guess, is how can I learn to accept myself and realize that I
>am still pretty, even with this stuff that is going on with my body? And
>when can I expect to have a boy look at me as more than a friend?

To add to the above, I just wanted to say that you must be careful when you're feeling down not to associate with abusive people. A freind just got out of an abusive relationship that she got into when she was feeling really low, and I feel like the person she was with pick up that she was down and chose her because she was so vulnerable.

Find a support group for women with self-esteem issues -- I can guarantee you that there will be several women with PCOS (perhaps undiagnosed) there.

Good luck and take care!

(((hugs))),

-- jen

email welcome at: jennyred.nospam@ivillage.com (note: to send me an email, take out the ".nospam" I put in my email address. That's in there for the spam-bots.)

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In reply to: Meaghan: "General feelings"

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