Re: my own insensitive friend comment
From: AdoptASAP (anonymous@obgyn.net)
Thu, 31 May 2001 20:47:26 -0500 (CDT)
I am an only child and a spoiled one. However, I am not spoiled rotten.
I can be a slob but have respect for others and other peoples things.
Why am I not like your roommate? Because I had a great mother who taught
me well.
A childs personality is based on how they are raised. It is my
ASSUMPTION that her homelife was not all that grand and/or she was not
educated right. Or, she hung out with a really bad crowd. Who knows
her story.
Yes, we all want our children to be loved and liked by all with good
values. That is not a guarentee it will happen. Yes, I think it was
insensative to say and it is, IMO, a feeling of yours I am not fond of.
But we are all individuals and I respect you and your ideas. I may not
like them, but you are not here on this planet to please me.
And I dont think any good mother has regretted the birth of their child
reguardless of how they turned out. I dont think you would really feel
that way if it did indeed happen to you.
At Thu, 31 May 2001, jodi wrote:
>
>Hmmm... in a way, I walked into this one myself, but it goes well with
>how do we handle friends talking negatively
> about things which are sensitive to us.
>
>I have the most disgusting room mate on the planet. I am not
>exaggeratting... she is the sloppiest, dirtiest,
>smelliest, most inconsiderate person you would ever want to live with.
>Ok... I guess I should say not want to live
>with... We have been fighting recently over how she won't clean up, how
>she brings other people's garbage home,
>how she claims the smell of cleaning products makes her physically ill
>and she has asked me not to use them...
>etc. Well, I can't wait to move out next year. We were acquainted
>through a friend before we moved in together,
>and we got along quite well... before we moved in together. The two
>girls she was supposed to live with bailed on
>her - I no longer wonder why. The person she lived with last year hated
>her. The people she lived with last summer,
>friends of mine, will never invite her back again. Her habits are
>disgusting, and she claims there is nothing wrong
>with them! Well... My friend was here at work with me over lunch and we
>were discussing her, how I think she has
>some serious underlying mental issues... he says she just sounds like a
>spoiled child. Well, she is an only child, and
>is used to having her own way...
>
>I mused, something to the effect of, I wonder if it would be worse to be
>infertile or to have a kid like her?
>
>My friend was like, What do you mean? Are you crazy?
>
>And I said No, seriously. Would you rather be infertile, or have a
>child that is completely maladjusted and can't
>find a room mate because no one can stand to live with her, has horrible
>living and grooming habits, etc, etc?
>And like, she's an only child... What must it be like to be her
>parents, to have one child and have her turn out
>so horribly?
>
>He was like, it would be worse to be infertile. I hope the girl I marry
>isn't infertile, I'd probably break up with her
>if she was.
>
>HMMMMMMMM. So yeah, you can see how I walked into that one, in a way.
>My friend, BTW, is single,
>totally oversexed, but is so piggish about women and hung up on
>appearance and boobs that I don't see him
>finding anyone any time soon, heh.
>
>So I said, Well, you know, a lot of women have fertility problems. And
>he was like, really? Then why do so many
>women get knocked up? And I said, I didn't say everyone had them... And
>anyway, even if your girlfriend isn't
>infertile, you have no way of knowing if you are. And female
>infertility is a lot easier to figure out than male.
>
>And he was like, well, I bet I'm fine. I bet I could get a girl
>pregnant if I tried.
>
>And I said, you never know... You might seem fine, but lots of men seem
>find and turn out to be shooting blanks.
>
>And he was like, I don't think so... sounding doubtful...
>
>Blah. So there was MY weird encounter with a touchy issue. I'm evil, I
>suppose... My comeback was to
>make HIM worry... but finding out that a friend of mine would dump a
>girl over infertility when I know I am
>probably gonna have problems... kinda sorta hurt.
>
>And as for infertility over having a child like my room mate... I don't
>know. I think I really would have no
>kids than a kid like her. Is that evil of me? Y'all have never met this
>girl... :-)
>
>- jodi
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