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Re: insensitive friend question (sort of long and involved!)
From: Sonnet (anonymous@obgyn.net)
Thu, 31 May 2001 13:30:37 -0500 (CDT)
*giggle* Okay, maybe this is my evil side coming out, but wouldn't it be
too good to find one of his flaws that you know shames him (and from
what you say, I am sure you could find one!) and then next time you're
out, have the same conversation with him except flip flopped. I.e.,
tell him there's this freak guy you always see who has _____ (nose hair,
a bad smell, insensitivity, a gimpy leg, whatever) and you're just so
grossed out by having to share the world with a person like that, I mean
can you IMAGINE! Maybe he'll pick up on the subtle point, hey? Heh.
Don't ever let anyone make you feel like you're worth any less because
of PCOS! You and every other woman (and every person, for that matter)
all deserve space on the earth.
At Thu, 31 May 2001, Alicia wrote:
>
>This is more of a personal situation semi-related to PCOS, but I am
>looking for opinions on how to handle it.
>
>I have a male friend with whom I talk quite a bit. (He used to like me,
>but I decided we were better as friends.) He does not know about PCOS
>and I don't think he needs to know. He's just a friend after all. Well,
>the other day we were sitting and drinking coffee at Starbucks and he
>brings up this woman he saw with a full beard. He said he always sees
>her when he's leaving work and she looks at him with a crazy expression.
>He goes on and on about how there are creams and things to help with
>that. And that, definitively, women should not have beards. He almost
>sounded offended by her existence.
>
>My response was to smile and say, "Oh, really?"
>
>My own paranoia and experience has caused me to examine this
>conversation in several ways.
>
>One, was he telling me this to try and tell ME something, as in, "I
>notice something on your face, too. So what's up with that?" (It could
>be spiteful, seing as I turned him down as a romantic interest last
>year.)
>
>Or is he just a misinformed and insensitive man (who is far from a
>perfect specimen himself) voicing his opinion about women (as some men
>feel they are entitled to do)?
>
>And how should I have handled this? I could have launched in to a story
>about PCOS, and how it's a common and "legitimate" reason for a woman to
>have a beard. (But I didn't want him to start staring at my chin and
>asking me if I have it.)
>
>Any opinions? I am slightly annoyed by his comments and next time he
>says anything like that I want to be prepared. I guess I am offended
>that HE seemed so offended by this woman's face!
--
Email always welcome to: sonnet_fitz@hotmail.com
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