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Re: insensitive friend question (sort of long and involved!)
From: AdoptASAP (anonymous@obgyn.net)
Thu, 31 May 2001 10:08:56 -0500 (CDT)
I certainly dont think it was directed to you. He is after all a MAN!
Men are not swift like women at dropping hints. LOL. But next time,
say something like, maybe she has a medical condition, maybe she is
allergic to bleaches and cremes, maybe she believes the ol wives tale
about women shaving. Who knows, but who are you to judge? God made her
and he doesnt make mistakes"
I have actually used this myself. I am allergic to bleaches and nair.
It makes my face rash up and I then get a crust all over my face from
the rash. I shave. I use an electric shaver that works really well. My
mom believes the ol wives tale about shaving. I have had to convince
her otherwise. Going to Hair school helped me educate her. I even
showed her my school books for proof. It took the books to convince
her.
At Thu, 31 May 2001, Alicia wrote:
>
>This is more of a personal situation semi-related to PCOS, but I am
>looking for opinions on how to handle it.
>
>I have a male friend with whom I talk quite a bit. (He used to like me,
>but I decided we were better as friends.) He does not know about PCOS
>and I don't think he needs to know. He's just a friend after all. Well,
>the other day we were sitting and drinking coffee at Starbucks and he
>brings up this woman he saw with a full beard. He said he always sees
>her when he's leaving work and she looks at him with a crazy expression.
>He goes on and on about how there are creams and things to help with
>that. And that, definitively, women should not have beards. He almost
>sounded offended by her existence.
>
>My response was to smile and say, "Oh, really?"
>
>My own paranoia and experience has caused me to examine this
>conversation in several ways.
>
>One, was he telling me this to try and tell ME something, as in, "I
>notice something on your face, too. So what's up with that?" (It could
>be spiteful, seing as I turned him down as a romantic interest last
>year.)
>
>Or is he just a misinformed and insensitive man (who is far from a
>perfect specimen himself) voicing his opinion about women (as some men
>feel they are entitled to do)?
>
>And how should I have handled this? I could have launched in to a story
>about PCOS, and how it's a common and "legitimate" reason for a woman to
>have a beard. (But I didn't want him to start staring at my chin and
>asking me if I have it.)
>
>Any opinions? I am slightly annoyed by his comments and next time he
>says anything like that I want to be prepared. I guess I am offended
>that HE seemed so offended by this woman's face!
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