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insensitive friend question (sort of long and involved!)From: Alicia (anonymous@obgyn.net)Thu, 31 May 2001 09:25:50 -0500 (CDT)
This is more of a personal situation semi-related to PCOS, but I am looking for opinions on how to handle it. I have a male friend with whom I talk quite a bit. (He used to like me, but I decided we were better as friends.) He does not know about PCOS and I don't think he needs to know. He's just a friend after all. Well, the other day we were sitting and drinking coffee at Starbucks and he brings up this woman he saw with a full beard. He said he always sees her when he's leaving work and she looks at him with a crazy expression. He goes on and on about how there are creams and things to help with that. And that, definitively, women should not have beards. He almost sounded offended by her existence. My response was to smile and say, "Oh, really?" My own paranoia and experience has caused me to examine this conversation in several ways. One, was he telling me this to try and tell ME something, as in, "I notice something on your face, too. So what's up with that?" (It could be spiteful, seing as I turned him down as a romantic interest last year.) Or is he just a misinformed and insensitive man (who is far from a perfect specimen himself) voicing his opinion about women (as some men feel they are entitled to do)? And how should I have handled this? I could have launched in to a story about PCOS, and how it's a common and "legitimate" reason for a woman to have a beard. (But I didn't want him to start staring at my chin and asking me if I have it.) Any opinions? I am slightly annoyed by his comments and next time he says anything like that I want to be prepared. I guess I am offended that HE seemed so offended by this woman's face!
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