PCOS Messages for May, 2001: Re: am I fat/ for Kallie

Re: am I fat/ for Kallie

From: Regina (anonymous@obgyn.net)
Tue, 22 May 2001 22:41:42 -0500 (CDT)

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I think I know exactly how you feel-as I have a similar problem with the post C-section "stomach" Just like you-about 2 years ago I had a c-section-and not only do I still have 20 pounds to lose just to get back to pre-pregnancy weight (which was already heavy at 245 lbs/I'm 5'2" tall) but my stomach is fatter and hangs lower than ever. I know exactly how you feel-as before my pregnancy I knew I was fat, but I was pretty much able to overcome the feeling-at least feeling somewhat sexy for my husband and having an "ok" opinion of myself. Now I cannot seem to get that feeling back-It all seems to come down to my stomach. I am way self conscious about it, now even around him-and I have never felt that way before. It seems to bother me more than it does him. Even when I weighed 265 at a pre pregnancy standpoint-I never felt as fat as I do now! We had several years of infertility before I was finally able to get pregnant-and I don't know about you, but being short and fat, this made for extreme discomfort for me during the end of my pregnancy. (I gained a total of 70 lbs- 30 pounds of it were gained in the last 2 1/2 weeks alone!) My son weighed 10# 7oz. I love my little "baby miracle", and I would forever be fat vs. not going through that pregancy and having him, but it seems unfair that the change in my body seems more extreme than what most women have to show for going through it. For these reasons alone I am scared of trying to get pregnant again-although I would love to have another baby. I keep telling myself when I lose weight I will try again. Well this isn't happening, and I am not getting younger. (I'm 28). So, I just wanted to respond-as it felt so good to read about someone who sounds like they had a similar experience to mine. Regina Fri, 18 May 2001, Kallie wrote: >
>That stomach thing was okay when I was 250 and had never been pregnant.
>Post c-section at 310 it isn't so easy to hide any longer. (I'm 5'3) In
>fact it sort of hangs down lower and is totally gross. My friends
>grandmother calls it an "apron." (Not focussed at me, just in general)
>
>You know.. I have always felt pretty good about my looks even though I
>am very overweight. And because of that I think it showed in my
>personality. And because of that, for so long I think I burried the way
>I truly feel about being fat.
>
>I've slowly come to realize over the last few years, particuarly the
>last year that I really do not feel good about the way I look. It is
>disgusting and I don't feel particulary sexy or pretty any more.
>
>I saw a talk show this week that featured big and beautiful (SUBJECTIVE)
>women that were proud to be the size they were (250 - 380 or so) They
>were walking around in bathing suits and teddybear nighties. I watched
>and found myself feeling really sorry for them. I know I probably
>shouldn't have felt that way because on some levels it may be rude. But
>this girl that weighed more than I do was doing a belly dance.. Now you
>could tell that she really felt she looked sexy - but it wasn't sexy.
>And on one level I think "Really, good for her for being able to not
>care what she looks like and make the best of it" But it reminded me of
>how I often think I look "from the inside looking out." But as soon as I
>pass a mirror .. I'm like "who was that?" That is not how I feel - but
>it is reality.
>
>I don't see many beautiful things about this fat hanging all over the
>place. And I don't think it is really attractive to flaunt it in things
>like really short or tight clothes. Mainly because it just makes people
>look at you and think, "Awww no body loves her enough to tell her she
>shouldn't leave the house like that.." I may be "Big and beautiful" on
>some standards - but I am not proud of it.
>
>I am put off by it and really mad that there is no miricle drug for us
>to take. A pill to help people who were never supposed to be fat to
>begin with. A piull for people who didn't eat their way to 300 lbs. And
>I don't mean Met. I mean an honest to God 100 % reverse this metabolic
>screw up and make these women right pill.
>
>I hope that didn't offend anyone, it isn't my intent to "bash" us. It
>is just the way I have been feeling - my own epiphany .
>
>--
>Kallie
>

Next message: Christa: "Re: BC's and antibiotic Minocycline"
Previous message: Christa: "Re: Gluco XR????"
In reply to: Kallie: "Re: am I fat"
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