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Re: whine/rant/vent, whatever ya wanna call it (long =)
From: bluebonnet (anonymous@obgyn.net)
Fri, 11 May 2001 03:19:16 -0500 (CDT)
amen, sister!
At Thu, 10 May 2001, paula wrote:
>
>i have really been in the blahs for the past 2 weeks. i couldn't figure
>out why really so just decided it must be stress or school or something.
>but tonight, while taking a bath (i do all my deep thinking there lol) i
>figuered out what it is. I AM TIRED OF HAVING PCOS!!! i am tired of it
>being the end all be all of my existance. i wake up in the morning,
>take my BBT hopeing for that tell-tale dip in temp that never really
>comes. then i roll over go back to sleep, wake up, find breakfast...not
>too many carbs now, you dont want an insulin reaction, take my
>meds...shave my face!!! (no woman should ever have to do that on a daily
>basis) go off to school/work/whatever...come home, mentally and
>physically exhausted, take more meds, watch more carbs...know i need to
>exercise, go have sex with hubby "just in case".
>
>my life would have been so much different without this. i was gonna be
>a doctor! i am so tired of life revolving around me being sick. im
>tired of being sick, i have been sick my whole damn life. people talk
>about how God wont give you more than you can handle, and everything
>happens for a reason...but I CANT HANDLE THIS...and i see no reason for
>it. i am tired of it, i am sick of it...and i think that i need a
>break...i need a bone thrown at me. what could possibly be the reason
>for feeling like crap all the time? for not being able to have children?
>
>im sorry guys, i think its PMS, or just simply this damn illness. i
>cant seem to get motivated. so i have sulked for the past 2 weeks, and
>i have to tell you, i have eaten a lot of ice cream...back to the
>emotional eating you see....and i have once again gained weight back...i
>can tell. it is freakin amazing how fast we can put on weight ya know?
>and my hair is growing faster again, which means i have mucked up my
>insulin again....so now i have to start all over...back to the stupid
>drawing board...i just dont know that i can do it...
>
>you know, it is a cruel thing, this disease, it makes you fat, makes you
>hairy, makes you an emotional wreck so you cant deal with being fat and
>hairy. so it is like this feedback loop...i know that no matter how
>much weight i lose, or how normal my insulin is, my emotions will never
>be normal. so i will for the rest of my life be in this flux between
>funky hormones...
>
>AHHHHHHHHHH...ok, ill calm down now, thanks for letting me vent.
>
>love, paula
>
>--
>please feel free to email me anytime at paulam@kih.net ...remember to put PCOS in the subject line =)
>
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