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Re: 32 - thinking of going straight to adoption without undergoing fertility treatments
From: timber (anonymous@obgyn.net)
Wed, 7 Feb 2001 09:54:38 -0600 (CST)
I'm 39 & have a 4 1/2 year old daughter. I was able to get pregnant on
clomid. After that we did clomid, the shots, IUI, and but weren't
candidates for IVF. We quit the heavy infertility treatments after
three months because we just couldn't handle the stress. I wanted to
make sure that I would have no regrets if I didn't try everything I felt
I could handle. Now we are trying to adopt a toddler-aged child through
the Dept. of Social Services. It's not expensive and there are risks
involved, but we felt it was the option for us. Our first home study
visit is today.
At Tue, 6 Feb 2001, Karen wrote:
>
>Hi everyone,
>
>I'm new here. I did some checking through the archives, but didn't see
>much regarding people going straight to adoption without giving
>fertility treatments a try. I'm curious as to what other people think.
>
>I'm 32 and married. I have had the symptoms of PCOS since I was about
>16, and given the name of "PCOS" when I was about 25. I have all of the
>symptoms -- I'm currently in my 9th month without a period. My last
>period started in January, 2000 and I bled heavily until May, 2000.
>After 3 weeks of 3 birth control pills a day to try to get me to stop, I
>underwent a D&C. I still bled for 3 weeks after that -- then nothing to
>date. I have the facial hair, the weight gain especially around my
>middle, skin tags, thick hair on my head but I'm noticing some thinning
>through my temples, etc... Oh, it's just a friggin joy.
>
>Given my irregular periods -- I either try to bleed to death or I go so
>long without a period that I know I'm just endometrial cancer waiting to
>happen, I get so frustrated sometimes. My husband and I met when I was
>29, and were recently married -- and he married me knowing full well
>that having a biological child was a slim chance. He is completely okay
>and accepting of this. We want a family, and quite frankly, having a
>child that looks like us isn't all that important to us. We want kids
>-- plain and simple.
>
>I really don't know if I want to subject our marriage or my body or our
>sanity to the regimen required of fertility treatments - regardless of
>the path. We have discussed recently the possibility of not even going
>through fertility and heading straight to adoption. There is a part of
>me -- a big part of me -- that finds that option liberating and
>exciting. I think my main "fear" lies in the wondering if I'll always
>wonder -- what if. What if we'd tried this or tried that. Fear may be
>too strong a word -- it's a concern, but not so paralyzing that I'm not
>willing to give it a shot -- go straight to adoption and deal with the
>"what if's" later, if at all.
>
>We have some very positive adoption stories in our own lives. We have
>friends -- like my family, actally -- who adopted their daughter 23
>years ago. Some great friends of ours adopted the cutest little boy
>about a year ago after several years of tests and fertility treatments
>and miscarriages. Another friend of ours is in the process of adopting;
>her baby girl will be born in mid March.
>
>Sorry to ramble -- but I do feel better, writing all of my thoughts out.
>
>Any thoughts from the masses?
>
>Thanks in advance,
>
>--
>Karen in California
>
--
timber
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