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32 - thinking of going straight to adoption without undergoing fertility treatmentsFrom: Karen (anonymous@obgyn.net)Tue, 6 Feb 2001 18:38:43 -0600 (CST)
Hi everyone, I'm new here. I did some checking through the archives, but didn't see much regarding people going straight to adoption without giving fertility treatments a try. I'm curious as to what other people think. I'm 32 and married. I have had the symptoms of PCOS since I was about 16, and given the name of "PCOS" when I was about 25. I have all of the symptoms -- I'm currently in my 9th month without a period. My last period started in January, 2000 and I bled heavily until May, 2000. After 3 weeks of 3 birth control pills a day to try to get me to stop, I underwent a D&C. I still bled for 3 weeks after that -- then nothing to date. I have the facial hair, the weight gain especially around my middle, skin tags, thick hair on my head but I'm noticing some thinning through my temples, etc... Oh, it's just a friggin joy. Given my irregular periods -- I either try to bleed to death or I go so long without a period that I know I'm just endometrial cancer waiting to happen, I get so frustrated sometimes. My husband and I met when I was 29, and were recently married -- and he married me knowing full well that having a biological child was a slim chance. He is completely okay and accepting of this. We want a family, and quite frankly, having a child that looks like us isn't all that important to us. We want kids -- plain and simple. I really don't know if I want to subject our marriage or my body or our sanity to the regimen required of fertility treatments - regardless of the path. We have discussed recently the possibility of not even going through fertility and heading straight to adoption. There is a part of me -- a big part of me -- that finds that option liberating and exciting. I think my main "fear" lies in the wondering if I'll always wonder -- what if. What if we'd tried this or tried that. Fear may be too strong a word -- it's a concern, but not so paralyzing that I'm not willing to give it a shot -- go straight to adoption and deal with the "what if's" later, if at all. We have some very positive adoption stories in our own lives. We have friends -- like my family, actally -- who adopted their daughter 23 years ago. Some great friends of ours adopted the cutest little boy about a year ago after several years of tests and fertility treatments and miscarriages. Another friend of ours is in the process of adopting; her baby girl will be born in mid March. Sorry to ramble -- but I do feel better, writing all of my thoughts out. Any thoughts from the masses? Thanks in advance,
-- Karen in California
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