PCOS Messages for January, 2001: Re: pregnant with pcos - LONG

Re: pregnant with pcos - LONG - to original poster of message

From: Dave (anonymous@obgyn.net)
Wed, 31 Jan 2001 16:47:43 -0000

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Dear anon, You are the only person who can decide whether or not you keep this baby. You must not let any of us try to convince you otherwise, whatever our beliefs or religion is. You must decide whether you can give your child the sort of life that it deserves love, affection, knowledge and experience. I am going to throw the other angle on this, sometimes people think that they want a baby, and fall pregnant very easily. When they have the baby they realise that it is not that easy, and that it is not the fashion accessory, or answer to all of their problems, it creates more. You have to be very strong, and if you are still in a relationship with that person, it is very hard. I have very close friends who have been through your dilema, and those who have babies to keep their boyfriends, or because everyone else is having babies. As someone who is ttc, it is much harder watching people like that fall pregnant than any of the people who fall pregnant through inexperience with birth control/ birth control slip ups. I would think that at the moment you are going through the worst turmoil ever, no one really wants to have a baby terminated, or they would have taken every type of contraception available to ensure it did not happen. (We used condoms and the pill for six months, because I was so scared of getting at pregnant at that time in my life! LOL) But if they cannot offer their child a good life, then why should they give up their right to choose. Personally, I could never give up a child for adoption, when I was younger I read stories about surrogate motherhood, and would have loved to have been able to help someone, but now I don't think that I could give up a child that I had carried for nine months. If I were in your shoes now, like I said earlier, I think that you are probably going through lots of turmoil, your heart must ache, and you probably feel very frightened and confused. When you are making your decision, I think that you are right to question the future, I fell pregnant a few years ago and had a miscarriage, When we started trying a year ago we thought we would be pregnant by now! Someone said earlier, I think it was Kallie, that if you have fallen pg once you think it will happen easily again. I would have thought that nowadays the likelihood of not being able to concieve because of a termination is a lot lower than it used to be, but we have PCOS to deal with, and with that and just as we get older naturally it is just harder to get pregnant. Do you have friends and family that can and will help out should you decide to keep the baby? I don't think that anyone should have to manage on their own. What ever you decide, I wish you luck. Don't regret your decision - whatever it is. If you keep the baby and regret it, it will feel the vibe that you send, and that will have alsorts of emotional upheaval for the child. If you do terminate and regret, it can make you feel bitter and twisted. You are the only one who knows how your life will be improved by which ever decision you make. ------------------------------------------------------------ Free Web Email & Filter Enhancements. ------------------------------------------------------------ http://www.freewebemail.com/filtertools/ ------------------------------------------------------------ ------------------------------------------------------------ ----- Original Message ----- ------------------------------------------------------------ From: "anonymous" <anonymous@obgyn.net>

-- To: "Multiple recipients of list PCOS" <anonymous@obgyn.net> Sent: Wednesday, January 31, 2001 1:36 PM Subject: Re: pregnant with pcos

> Hi, > > How are you holding up? It sounds as if you are in a very difficult and > confusing place at the moment. Okay, let me lay my infertile > credentials on the table....7 years of various fertility drugs etc. and > no ovulation - I say this as I want you to know that my opinion is as a > pcos girl who may be childless. > > It sounds as if you were looking for some practical advice as well as > support and so here goes with what little I know. My biggest piece of > advice is to do what feels right for you now. I say this because strong > emtions come into play whenever abortion is mentioned - in particular if > infertility is an issue. I used to work as a nurse in gynaecology, and > watched many young girls have terminations of pregnancy - some of them > made the decision under pressure from family which may have led to > regret later on, but others knew it was right for them. My best friend > had 3 terminations between the ages of 16 and 21. Sure, she regrets > having to go through them and sometimes wonders "what if", but she is > now a 32 year-old international career woman and thinks the decisions > were right for her. > > I don't know whether having a termination now will interact with having > PCOS and made conception even harder later on, nor do I know of any > research in this area. What I do know is that getting treatment when > you are young e.g. metformin for insulin resistance if appropriate, can > lessen the ravages of the disease and MAY mean fertility is not such a > problem. Moreover, diet and lifestyle can help too. > > Having said that, you were able to fall pregnant really easily and so it > may be that fertility is not an issue for you. My mum fell pregnant > twice accidentally (at ages 37 and 39), inspite of having PCOS (the > whole caboodle of hair, weight, acne, type 2 diabetes, baldness!) and > only 2-3 "periods" per year -it was a bit of a shock to my parents who > hadn't planned on anymore children!! > > Okay, so that's my opinion. We don't know the future for any of us. I > would love to think I may experience the joy of motherhood one day, but > I think it is really important for you to decide when YOU WANT that day > to be, acknowledging, and taking full responsibility, that maybe it will > never come again if you reject it now. > > Thinking of you with your hard decision, > > Beverly > > At Tue, 30 Jan 2001, anonymous wrote: > > > >i have been diagnosed with polycystic ovarian syndrome and > >was told i may have trouble conceiving. however, the very > >first time i had unprotected sex i have become pregnant. > >i'm not sure i'm ready to start a family yet and am facing > >the very difficult decision of whether to continue with the > >pregnancy. does anyone have any advice, or know where i > >could find out more, about if having a termination would > >make it more difficult to conceive in the future with > >ploycystic ovaries. i realise this is a difficult subject as there are > >so many people trying desperately to become pregnant - i don't want to > >make a decision i will regret if this turns out to be my only chance of > >having a child. > >thank you in advance. >

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