Re: Links for us guys...
From: Dave (anonymous@obgyn.net)
Tue, 30 Jan 2001 10:39:43 -0000
Another ladies husband posts on here regularly. I am sure that we will all
try to help you to help your wife as much as we can.
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----- Original Message -----
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From: "Mike" <anonymous@obgyn.net>
To: "Multiple recipients of list PCOS" <anonymous@obgyn.net>
Sent: Tuesday, January 30, 2001 4:57 AM
Subject: Links for us guys...
> Does anyone have any suggestions for us husbands on how to deal with
> PCOS wives? Fortunately, thru a lotta late night Internet research of
> mine, my better half was finally diagnosed with PCOS by an RE in NYC.
> However, she still is highly addicted to carbs(a big no-no), and
> breaking her of this is next to impossible. I want to send a letter to
> her RE prior to her next visit in March 2001, and ask him to scare the
> hell out of her with regard to her weight/diet. It isn't that she's
> eating a lot of calories, it's the type of calories!
>
> I love my wife very much, but I'm having a tough time dealing with the
> continuing mood swings and generally poor health she's got. Since she
> was diagnosed at age 39 last year, it sure would seem that children are
> an near-impossibility, and I've accepted that fact. However, to be
> quite honest, I don't know how I'm gonna be able to deal with miserable,
> depressed, unhealthy wife for the rest of my life. There's a genetic
> component to this mess, her mom had Type 2 diabetes, and she had the
> same kinda mood swings, etc. that my wife's going thru. And her
> husband(my father-in-law) couldn't really deal with her problem either,
> and for probably the last 10-15 years of her life(she passed away in
> '95), they were married in name only, there was no love there. I do NOT
> want to be in that situation, quite frankly. Nor do I want to bury my
> wife at age 50, either. So, how do I get through to her without her
> completely freaking out? From reading some of the posts, most of the
> women with PCOS are emotionally on the edge, and believe me, I
> understand that completely. BUT, there's another part to this equation,
> ladies, and that's us husbands. I think most of us guys truly believe
> in the "for better or worse" part of our vows, and are more than willing
> to stick by our wives and provide any and all support needed, but our
> wives need to take the steps needed to feel better. I mean, we can deal
> with the mood swings by walking out of the room until things settle
> down, we can deal with the lack of desire and/or pain during sex by
> getting real friendly with out left(or right) hands, but one thing we
> can't deal with is not trying to get better. There have been days when
> I've been tempted to go through the kitchen and toss out any high-carbo
> foods and say to her "Screw it, you're gonna get better my way". I know
> that sounds harsh, but, what's a guy to do? Please tell me...
>
> Sorry about the rambling, but I had to get this off my chest. And don't
> mistake my tone for anger...no, it's sadness...sadness that my darling
> wife, my best friend, the love of my life feels shitty, sadness that
> I'll never be a dad to my children, sadness that so many days all my
> wife wants to do is sleep, sadness that we don't go many places because
> she feels lousy... But there's some anger, too...anger at her horrribly
> incompetent doctors for failing to diagnose her PCOS years ago...I mean,
> telling my wife to go on a diet when she's only eating 1500 calories a
> day and still gaining weight, what the hell med school did you graduate
> from???? Oh you're depressed, gee take this little pill here(Paxil),
> you'll feel better, sorry I don't have the time to diagnose ya properly,
> but I got a lotta patients to see, gotta make the $$$...
>
> Mike
>
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