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self discovery.... and realization...From: Carrin (anonymous@obgyn.net)Mon, 15 Jan 2001 14:05:34 -0600 (CST)
Hi, its been a while since I posted... DH and I have had a while to think... a couple failed adoption situations and now Oprah has inspired me to ttc.... again (this time fertility aids). I always thought I was afraid of concieving because I was afraid of failing AGAIN (2 miscarriages), but I was watching Oprah... and she was talking about shadow fears (or something like that... I can't remember what she called it) and I knew at that moment that not only was I afraid to fail... but I was also afraid to succeed... I think that deep down, I didn't feel I was DESERVING of having a child because of what PCOS has done to me and my reproductive health. So here we are 4 days into the prometrium... and going to start Clomid during next cycle... many prayers for all of you who know exactly what I mean... and I am praying that I remember and you do too.... that we are deserving of the moon and the stars....
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