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Re: ANON... Husbands and sex and when it doesn't work.From: paula (anonymous@obgyn.net)Sun, 14 Jan 2001 10:29:48 -0600 (CST)
listen, i have been there recently. my hubby was not impotent, but refused to have sex. i also was drawn to a friend...i asked about it on this board (posting as anon as well) and i was told that i needed to take the friend out of the picture. i did that. it worked. i made much more progress with hubby when i wasn't worrying about this other guy. i am still great friends with him, but he is no longer an issue in my marriage. bottom line is you cannot stay in a marriage that makes you fundamentally unhappy. but taking the vows you took, and marrying this man does obligate you to try to make it work, i understand the sexual urges, i had/have them. but if you walk away from this marriage without trying to work for a resoultion, that will be a regret later in life. talk to him, if he doesn't want to listen make him. if he still doesn't want to listen tell him you are leaving until he does want to. then walk out stay gone for a few days. call him and tell him "im here <insert location> when you want to talk tell me. you have to make it clear to him that this is not a non-issue to you and you demand his attention to it. if he doesn't respond to that, if he still does not respect your needs, then is the time to decide whether you want to put up with his unrespectful attitude forever, or simply get out. either way, please let us know you are ok =) love, paula
-- feel free to email me anytime at paulam74@hotmail.com
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