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if i'm nice to the baby...

From: jodi (anonymous@obgyn.net)
Wed, 29 Nov 2000 16:52:07 -0600 (CST)


this is kind of another funny/silly thing from me...

my brother's girlfriend is having a baby. i found out about this back in august, which is also when i found out i have PCOS... it was kind of a sick ol' slap in the face. i find out i've got a disease that might make me infertile... at the same time i find out my (single) brother is expecting an unplanned baby. ain't life fun????

so due to my own personal issues, i've felt less than enthused about the event. i just could not get excited over a forthcoming baby when i knew i might never get to experience that joy myself. i couldn't even bring myself to go to the baby shower a few weeks ago. i know a lot of you can relate so please don't look down too much on my selfishness :(

so. on thanksgiving i meet the girlfriend for the first time... and surprise! i like her. she's quiet but seems very sweet. i'm a bit of a shy little twerp myself so we didn't talk much but i think i like her. anyone who can put up with my brother deserves credit for that much at least!!! :)

so i was knitting something that day - nothing in particular, i love to knit, sometimes i just start knitting to keep my hands busy - and my brother said, why don't you make a blanket for the baby? and i was like ok... so i asked his gf her favorite color and she said purple. and i said cool, cuz i love purple. and i have been knitting a blanket now since saturday and it's about half down. it's two strands of yarn together through out so it;ll be very warm which is good cuz it's gonna be a december or january baby. i knid of thought the color might be bad - i went with purple cuz SHE likes purple, and i picked a dark purple cuz pastel baby colors make me ill - but my mother says it's good, it won't show dirt.

so lately i've been thinking, hmmmm... i should look on this baby as a chance to improve my knitting. i have a bad habit of starting projects which i never finish due to either losing interest cuz they take too long (i can't tell you how many backs of sweaters i've made), or because i stopped for a while and forgot where i was , or because i dropped a stich and i have a bad habit of junking a project if it won't be perfect.

well, baby things would be nice and small so i could finish before losing interest. i think it'll be great practice for me.

the blanket so far is perfect, not a single dropped stich or mistake that i can see. :)

but i have to admit, in the back of my head, i think there's the thought that if i'm really nice to this baby god will be nice to me and make my PCOS not make me hopelessly infertile.

weather that is true or not... this baby's gonna have a lot of handknitted items. i just may knit myself into a coma this winter. :)

- jodi




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