Re: Hair and Marriage (long)
From: Jennifer (anonymous@obgyn.net)
Fri, 6 Oct 2000 08:11:49 -0500 (CDT)
Hi there,
I'm not married, but my serious boyfriend and I live together, so we are
very close. I have been pretty open with him about my PCOS and what I
think is really ugly about it (the hair; nipples, hiney, sideburns).
Strangely, he seems to not think it is a big deal. Either that, or he
is being nice. Either way, he loves me in spite of it. I agree with
the person who said your husband may notice it, but dismisses it as an
unimportant issue, the same way you tolerate his little imperfections. I
bet your marriage vows said "in sickness and in health" somewhere. If
you feel uncomfortable having sex before removing some of the hair, why
not do it with the lights off? I feel self conscious sometimes because
the daylight exposes my ...flaws. So I wait til it's dark!
I'm sure your husband would be very reassuring if you speak to him about
it.
--
Jennifer
At Fri, 6 Oct 2000, Smedley wrote:
>
>Anon,
>
>I am married and my husband and I do talk about ALL the annoying aspects
>of PCOS. We have discussed the hair problem, and although I am lucky to
>not suffer as bad as some I do have excess on my chest and neck. I have
>actually gone as fas as having him help me because I had a stray I could
>not see very well or reach. I know he loves me, and that he loves every
>part of me. PCOS in bed with you is hard, i understand where you are
>coming from. But I am sure if it is there, it is you being self
>concious. The first step is to talk about it. This is not something to
>be brought up when you are sitting and watching TV, you need to actually
>discuss ALL of the things that can, have, and will happen to you with
>PCOS. I think once you get it out in the open air, then you will feel
>better. Maybe once you can accept these things yourself, and realize
>that little things like hair does not make who you are, then you can
>realize the acceptance from him was always there. I have known for a
>long time that we sometimes underestimate our men's compassion and are
>very surprised when we let them in. :)
>
>Smed
>
>At Fri, 6 Oct 2000, anonymous wrote:
>>
>>This is going to be a difficult post for me, so bear with me.
>>
>>Those of you who are married, how many of you have husbands who know the
>>real deal about where and how much hair you have due to PCOS? Does this
>>effect your sex life?
>>
>>I have hair around my nipples. I have never spoken that or even
>>admitted it out loud until I was in a doctor's office last month while
>>being seen for PCOS. Gosh, this is tough to say.
>>
>>I have been married for over 5 years, and my husband and I have never
>>discused it. I have never let him see my breasts unless I have remove
>>any hair. It seems like we have developed this way of communicating.
>>For a while I thought it was just coincidence that he wanted sex when I
>>had rid myself of excess hair earlier that day. Now I see that he must
>>be picking up on signals. I can count only a few times when he
>>suggested it and I wasn't "ready."
>>
>>This makes me sad, though. We don't have sex as frequently as either of
>>us would like, and we cannot be spur of the moment, which is more our
>>style.
>>
>>Am I totally silly for thinking he might not even know? Now that we talk
>>about PCOS every day, I would think he is completely aware of what's
>>going on. This is the hardest thing I have had to deal with in my fight
>>with PCOS. My husband is sweet, unassuming, and a little bit unaware of
>>things sometimes. But I wish PCOS wasn't in my bed every night changing
>>the way I love my husband.
>>
>>Okay, that's it. I'm crying and I feel very nervous for posting this.
>>But, you ladies are the only ones I can talk to about this.
>
>--
>You gotta do what you gotta do
>
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