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Re: Monica - Neen's Request for a few jokes
From: Amy (anonymous@obgyn.net)
Wed, 04 Oct 2000 15:46:43 -0400
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hahahah - thanks for the laugh!
"Monica M." wrote:
> HI everyone,
> I got a few chuckles out of these. If you're in need of some comic
> relief, read on... :)Monica
>
> Quotations from women about women.......
>
> The hardest years in life are those between ten and seventy.
> -Helen Hayes (at 73)
>
> I refuse to think of them as chin hairs. I think of them as stray
> eyebrows.
> -Janette Barber
>
> Who ever thought up the word "Mammogram"? Every time I hear it, I think
> I'm supposed to put my breast in an envelope and send it to someone.
> -Jan King
>
> A few weeks after my surgery, I went out to play catch with my golden
> retriever. When I bent over to pick up the ball, my prosthesis fell
> out. The dog snatched it, and I found myself chasing him down the road
> yelling "Hey, come back here with my breast!"
> -Linda Ellerbee
>
> Things are going to get a lot worse before they get worse.
> -Lily Tomlin
>
> You know the hardest thing about having cerebral palsy and being a
> woman? It's plucking your eyebrows. That's how I originally got pierced
> ears.
> -Geri Jewell
>
> A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who never owned a car.
> -Carrie Snow
>
> Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and you cry with your
> girlfriends.
> -Laurie Kuslansky
>
> My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting
> my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.
> -Erma Brombeck
>
> Old age ain't no place for sissies.
> -Bette Davis
>
> A man's got to do what a man's got to do. A woman must do what he
> can't.
> -Rhonda Hansome
>
> The phrase "working mother" is redundant.
> -Jane Sellman
>
> Every time I close the door on reality it comes in through the windows.
> -Jennifer Unlimited
>
> Whatever women must do they must do twice as well as men to be thought
> half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.
> -Charlotte Whitton
>
> Thirty-five is when you finally get your head together and your body
> starts falling apart.
> -Caryn Leschen
>
> I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at
> once.
> -Jennifer Unlimited
>
> If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to be a horrible
> warning.
> -Catherine Aird
>
> When I was young, I was put in a school for retarded kids for two years
> before they realized I actually had a hearing loss...and they called ME
> slow!
> -Kathy Buckley
>
> Behind every successful woman...is a substantial amount of coffee.
> -Stephanie Piro
>
> Behind every successful woman...... is a basket of dirty laundry.
> -Sally Forth
>
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