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ABOUT SUPPORTFrom: anonymous (anonymous@obgyn.net)Sat, 16 Sep 2000 14:39:52 -0500 (CDT)
When someone asks for my input or my opinon on a subject it,s because they usually want me to agree with their point of view. I have found that if I differ with them, they or anyone within ear shot who differs with me, will usually try their darndest to change my opion. Every one will state their reasons and actually argue and debate just to be heard and to convince others to agree with them. people will go on and on untill they feel they have won the debate and that everyone is in total agreement with them. When people behave like this it really comes from a place of insecurity. If you are secure in your belifs and your opinions you don't feel the need to explain, justify or validate yourself to anyone. I always say If you want my opinion I will give you and honest answer. If you don't want my honest answer than don't ask. Please don't argue or try make me see things differently when it is you asking me. If I asked you for advice and you said something that I didn't agree with than I would just dismiss your advice and make my own decision . The reason I ask people for their opinions in the first place is because I am unsure and want to consider their input. good or bad advice makes me think when I am unsure. So unless you are prepared to hear all sides with an open mind without getting defensive, then you shouldn't ask in the first place. I always tell these debating type of people, You asked me my opinion and I gave you an answer, sorry if it wasn't the answer you were looking for. Please don't try to change my mind so that it is in agreement with you because then my opinions are no longer my personal opinions any more. It is unfair of you to ask me to agree with you when I feel very differently, and it is unfair to you if I am only agreeing with you to pacify you. I am very strong in my opinions and the standards that I live by. I never give advice unless I am asked for it. If you are not interested in what someone has to say, then don't ask. I never feel the need to defend my position on any subject because I don't feel there is any real one way of looking at something. If you don't want to hear it then don't ask if you inquire, then be prepared to listen and take it for what it's worth. I have a sister-in-law who always asks me to go bathing suit shopping with her and when I asked her why me?, She said because I know you will give me an honest opinion even if it's something that will hurt my feelings. Someone else would tell her she looked great even if she didn't. She knows that even if it's not what she want's to hear, that I have her best interest at heart. Even if she doesn't get the suit that I think looks best on her, she knows that I gave her an honest opinion. She doesn't want someone to just agree with her she wants some advice. She takes my advice then makes her own choice. Thats what a discussion board should be for---You ask for advice get opinions and then come to your own conclusions. We are not here to debate the right or wrong of opinions or feelings because there is no right and wrong. Everyone is entitled to state what they feel or what they think with out having to explain justify ar validate themselves. Everyone is valid.
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