PCOS Messages for August, 2000: Re: Men, me, and whether i can find it in myself to love who I am!

Re: Men, me, and whether i can find it in myself to love who I am!

From: aly (anonymous@obgyn.net)
Thu, 31 Aug 2000 15:36:52 -0500 (CDT)

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In reply to: Lee: "Men, me, and whether i can find it in myself to love who I am!"

My favorite Quote in the whole world is "Love is not how you feel about a person, but how that person makes you feel about yourself." I truly beleive this. Growing up I had very low self-esteem. My sister is very beautiful, so that is all I heard. Have you ever read "Jacob Have I Loved"? That is how I felt. And I had to deal with other things too that made me feel very un-worthy of any love and affection. When I was in college I lost a lot of weight and knew that I look better, but still didn't feel any better. I still felt like the frumpy little girl I was growing up. And then I met this friend. She is by no means your traditional beauty, but still people flock to her. She is beautiful because she felt beautiful. And I realized that that is what I was missing. I was miserable with all of my relationships because I always felt that I was not worthy enough to date a decent person. I always dated people that treated me like crap, had drug problems, gambling problems, you name it, I dated it. Not long after taht I met my now husband, who is not only an incredible man, but makes me feel like I am an incredible woman. I'm not saying that it is as easy as all that, it is hard to convince yourself that something you had been feeling inside was all wrong. But just think of it this way... Would you run over a kitten on purpose? Of course not, because you are a good person, and good people deserve good things to happen to them. Remind yourself of that. And do what ever it takes to make You feel beautiful. (I'm NOT talking about aerobics 6 times a week) My thing is platform shoes. Maybe that is a little superficial, but other things, like playing with neice, make me feel beautiful too. Okay, after writing this novel, maybe I've made my point, maybe I've just been confusing. I just wanted you to know that someone with absolutely no self-esteem can find it in herself to feel worthy of a great love.

At Tue, 29 Aug 2000, Lee wrote: >
>Hi ho everyone. i am a little tearful today as I reflect how much i
>realize I have not loved myself inside. I take it out on my outer
>apearance but I know it is how I feel about myself in general that is
>the problem. When I was highschool, I was pretty slender, but I am
>5'10" and big boned, so most of the guys were running after the litle
>petite things (which no matter how skinny I could get I could never be).
>I didn't like myself then and thought bad of myself so I know it isnt
>the weight etc... yes the hair problem bums me out sometimes but it is
>just hair, and doesnt replace the price of my humanity. Saying that and
>convincing myself of that are 2 different things though. I just want to
>shine through no matter how i look, and I know that i need to do this
>because I dont see how I can ever expect to have a loving realtionship
>with a man until i do. i love hearing all your LOVE stories and the
>support you get from men, but i think the ladies that do have this, even
>though may be bummed from time to time have pretty good self esteems.
>How do you do it? How do you let yourselves be comfotable around men? I
>also have some other issues which i am not unable to admit hinder me
>from trusting men (I was sexually abused when younger..i hope that
>doesnt freak any of you out) so this is a real challenge for me. I ask
>for any advice or kind words of wisdom here...thank you as always. I am
>so glad I have you all to come to for this stuff...:) Love and peace!
>
>--
>Lee
>

--
aly

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In reply to: Lee: "Men, me, and whether i can find it in myself to love who I am!"

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