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Re: Men, me, and whether i can find it in myself to love who I am!

From: Kristi (anonymous@obgyn.net)
Wed, 30 Aug 2000 17:56:57 -0500 (CDT)

All women, whether in a loving relationship or not; whether in a relationship at all, have the same deep needs. We all long to be loved, desired, appreciated, showered with affection, etc. So any woman who does not have that still yearns for it. Even Jesus said we are to love each other as we love ourselves. So if we are disgusted with ourselves, or feel less a woman than those around us, how can we show love to others? It's difficult, to be sure. At some point in your life, you have to become comfortable in your own skin. To put this in perspective, I ask myself this: Kristi, if you knew you only had ten days to live, where would your focus be? My answer is always: it sure wouldn't be on my body! :o) Get up each morning, take care of yourself (hygiene, any beauty treatments that make you feel good), do things for your insides that shine on the outside (reading, helping others, walking in the woods or on the beach, etc.). When we pull that intense focus off of ourselves and put it on someone else, we shine beauty like nobody's business. And it's a daily thing. It's not something we do once and for all, it's done, amen. Daily I have to pull my scrutiny off of my skin, large abdomen, grey hair, etc. God has given me so many other things to take joy in. My body is only a vessel and it's temporary. I hope that helps. I get those blue times too, I think we all do. Your life has a path, all of us do. Keep looking for the trail head. 

--
Kristi H.


At Tue, 29 Aug 2000, Lee wrote:
>
>Hi ho everyone.  i am a little tearful today as I reflect how much i
>realize I have not loved myself inside.  I take it out on my outer
>apearance but I know it is how I feel about myself in general that is
>the problem.  When I was highschool, I was pretty slender, but I am
>5'10" and big boned, so most of the guys were running after the litle
>petite things (which no matter how skinny I could get I could never be).
>I didn't like myself then and thought bad of myself so I know it isnt
>the weight etc...  yes the hair problem bums me out sometimes but it is
>just hair, and doesnt replace the price of my humanity.  Saying that and
>convincing myself of that are 2 different things though.  I just want to
>shine through no matter how i look, and I know that i need to do this
>because I dont see how I can ever expect to have a loving realtionship
>with a man until i do.  i love hearing all your LOVE stories and the
>support you get from men, but i think the ladies that do have this, even
>though may be bummed from time to time have pretty good self esteems.
>How do you do it? How do you let yourselves be comfotable around men? I
>also have some other issues which i am not unable to admit hinder me
>from trusting men (I was sexually abused when younger..i hope that
>doesnt freak any of you out) so this is a real challenge for me.  I ask
>for any advice or kind words of wisdom here...thank you as always.  I am
>so glad I have you all to come to for this stuff...:) Love and peace!
>
>--
>Lee
>



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