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Re: Men, me, and whether i can find it in myself to love who I am!

From: Michelle (anonymous@obgyn.net)
Wed, 30 Aug 2000 02:51:13 -0500 (CDT)


Hi Lee:

Well I have to agree with Sonnet (as usual, since she's such a smart and articulate woman!) One of the best things you can do for yourself is treat yourself as a whole human being without a man. Live on your own, make the place where you live your "home" even if you don't own it, learn to take care of yourself, and you'll be amazed at what pride you will take in yourself.

Even though there were lonely nights, I look back on my time living by myself in a tiny victorian apartment as some of the best years of my life. I know it really changed my outlook and after a while I began dating again, and finally met my husband online. (through match.com)

But I still struggle every single day with self-esteem, and even with my wonderful husband, the self-doubt remains lurking there. All I can say is that learning to love yourself is a life-long process rather than an overnight change.

And please don't apologize for freaking us out about the abuse that happened to you. We are a caring group of ladies here, and I think we have either heard or been through it all. I hope you will feel comfortable here.

(((((((HUGS)))))))))

Michelle K. in CA

At Tue, 29 Aug 2000, Lee wrote: >
>Hi ho everyone. i am a little tearful today as I reflect how much i
>realize I have not loved myself inside. I take it out on my outer
>apearance but I know it is how I feel about myself in general that is
>the problem. When I was highschool, I was pretty slender, but I am
>5'10" and big boned, so most of the guys were running after the litle
>petite things (which no matter how skinny I could get I could never be).
>I didn't like myself then and thought bad of myself so I know it isnt
>the weight etc... yes the hair problem bums me out sometimes but it is
>just hair, and doesnt replace the price of my humanity. Saying that and
>convincing myself of that are 2 different things though. I just want to
>shine through no matter how i look, and I know that i need to do this
>because I dont see how I can ever expect to have a loving realtionship
>with a man until i do. i love hearing all your LOVE stories and the
>support you get from men, but i think the ladies that do have this, even
>though may be bummed from time to time have pretty good self esteems.
>How do you do it? How do you let yourselves be comfotable around men? I
>also have some other issues which i am not unable to admit hinder me
>from trusting men (I was sexually abused when younger..i hope that
>doesnt freak any of you out) so this is a real challenge for me. I ask
>for any advice or kind words of wisdom here...thank you as always. I am
>so glad I have you all to come to for this stuff...:) Love and peace!
>
>--
>Lee
>




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