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Re: AdoptionFrom: Paula (anonymous@obgyn.net)Wed, 16 Aug 2000 00:36:17 -0500 (CDT)
As an adoptive mother I have to say...Birthmothers/parents are not monsters. They don't sneak up and steal your babies away. They very unselfishly give of themselves in a manner no one else on earth can out do. I have done extensive research on open adoption. EVERY single case where the judge decides against the adoptive couple, is an "ODD" case. Laws were broken, the rules were not followed. IF on the other hand, you go into an adoption knowing and following the rules your adoption will be smooth sailing. You need to have a good social worker, you need a good attorney, you need PATIENCE, and lastly you need to follow the rules. Contact a religous order's adoption services. IE: Catholic, Lutheran, Baptist, etc. In my state of Kansas, I know the rules. They state that the birthmother cannot sign any papers to relinquish her rights until she is out from under the drugs given at childbirth. This can be 24-48 hours. IF in that time she decides she does not want to make an adoption plan then YES she has the right to keep the baby. You just have to know that it wasn't the baby for you. The heartache you will go through waiting for a baby is NOTHING like the heartache the birthmother will suffer when she relenquishes her rights. YOU will be the parent of that child, no one will ever question that. Why not ease her pain in a small way by allowing her to know how that baby is doing. All of us on this board have pain to deal with everyday. One of my biggest joys comes from watching my 2 year old son pray for his birthmom every night and thanking Jesus that she allowed him to live with us. She deserves everything I can do to make her feel connected to this baby. Just the facts ma'am, just the facts. Paula in KC
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