Re: THE baby question
From: Anja (anonymous@obgyn.net)
Mon, 14 Aug 2000 18:12:54 -0500 (CDT)
Tarina,
My housband and I pondered over this question for 2 years,
and finally decided not to have children. Ironically, as we decided I
was allready pregnant. Anyways, we decided because my doctor said there
was a 44% miscarrage reate for women with PCOS, I also have other
(bloodclothing) problems that would make it worse, and we did not want
to complicate our marriage by turning sex into a constant anxiety. After
we made the decition, we were a lot happier, and started planning for a
life withouth children. There are a lot of good things about it other
than the difficoulties you would have to go thrugh to have a child -
mainly that your time (and mony) are then your own, not your childs.
This might seem selfish, but it's not like the world needs more
inhabitants. If, however, you two really do feel that your life will be
incomplete withouth a child - why not adopt? It might not cost that much
more than the treatments, with a guaranteed outcome, withouth harming
you. And you get to give a home to a child who really needs it,
expecially if you consider an older or handicapped child.
Good luck,
Anja
At Sat, 12 Aug 2000, tarina wrote:
>
>hi all.
>
>though i have been lurking around this site for about six months, i have
>only recently felt i had anything to contribute. first i want to thank
>EVERYONE for all the help you've been.. just knowing that there are
>other women out there with some of the same problems....helps.
>
>my question is... is there anyone else out there who... like me, has
>tried to conceive and run into "difficulties"...but has now deciede that
>maybe it is best to adopt... or maybe not to have children at all? (In
>my case, i am majoring in Occupational Therepy for children with
>disablities- and so to "solve" my problem by becomeing a workaholic :O )
>Is there anyone else out there who is (semi) ok with the fact that they
>may not ever have children? anyone else who is worried that the
>treatment for infertility may cause more physical problems? (hormone
>injections!!!- can't be good)
>
>this is not to say that i haven't spent several nights in tears...
>wondering where my precious dream of being "mommy" went. "Mommy" isn't
>that an absolutley delicious word? wondering if i haven't let my husband
>down... worried that im a disappointment. this is also not to say that
>when someone says (and everyone who knows "us" does) "you guys should
>have babies" "you have so much to offer a child" "why don't you guys
>have kids yet? what are you waiting for?" that it doesn't STING.... (any
>advise on how to handle this would be appreciated!!!!) but....
>
>i do NOT mean to belittle the pain of anyone (and i know there are alot
>of you out there right now) who have been trying despratley to get
>pregnant.. who have tried every treament out there and who are still
>trying. I applaud your courage!!! you are amazing women!!!! your
>partners and family should be proud of your strength and courage.
>
>maybe i am just not strong enough to do what you guys are doing... maybe
>i KNOW i couldn't emotionally handle it... so... i have "chosen" the
>safe way out. these are all possiblities... but....i just wanted to
>know if there was anyone else who had opted out of the disappointment
>cycle.
>
>again thank you for your support... even though you all didn't know it
>was being taken :)
>
>--
>tarina
>
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