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Re: Q to those with significant othersFrom: Avalos (anonymous@obgyn.net)Fri, 28 Jul 2000 11:40:14 -0500
Hi... Well, I can tell you that in many cases, no matter how we try to hide things, no matter how good we may get at it, many men out there are more perceptive and observant than we think! My husband knew about my "beard" when we were dating, before we were married... At that point in my life, I was going to electrolysis, so there was no stubble, really, and no scarring or skin discoloration, either... I used to go there three times a week to be sure that no stray hairs went untreated, because I was petrified that someone would find out... Well, one day out of the blue he asked me point blank... "why do you have hair growing on your neck, chin & face".... You could have knocked me over with a feather, I was so stunned... I took such care to make my skin look normal, and then THAT! I had no idea about PCOS, but I knew a little about Stein Leventhal, which I had been diagnosed with years before (as a result of trying to get to the root of my excess hair growth). So I told him. I was kind of nervous, I was most definitely mortified, and I had a hard time getting it all out, but he made it easy for me, he listened and he was actually rather terrific about the whole thing. A week later, as luck would have it, he asked me to marry him, and shortly thereafter we eloped... Ever since then, my husband has been my most supportive, accepting, caring friend and ally. He pays attention to what PCOS does to me, he goes to my doctors appointments with me sometimes, he asks questions, he gently tries to help me low-carb, he comes to PCOSA chapter meetings sometimes, he reminds me to take my meds... Rather than being repulsed by my problems, he sees them as something that he needs to fight, alongside with me, and just for that, I feel special and very lucky. I think, in making the choice to tell someone about this and about what you have to deal with, you need to think carefully about who you are telling and what kind of role they play in your life. If it is a casual boyfriend, and if "love" is not yet a given, then it may or may not be the best thing, depending on your own goals with regard to the relationship. Of course, I also think that, the best way to know how sincere people are is to present them with the truth straight up, sooner rather than later. That gives everyone a chance to show character and compassion and caring from the start, and it weeds out the fly-by-night superficial ones. In the end, it is up to you. I only can recommend that you be sincere with yourself and with your partner... that will result in their respecting you, regardless of the outcome. Clara -----Original Message----- From: anonymous@obgyn.net [mailto:anonymous@obgyn.net Sent: Friday, July 28, 2000 11:27 AM To: Multiple recipients of list PCOS Subject: Q to those with significant others I was just wondering... Those of you that are married or have boyfriends, how long did you wait--and how on earth did you tell them about your problem?? I couldn't imagine sitting my boyfriend down and telling him "Hey, I have this problem where I have to shave my face. Maybe we can shave together in the mornings!!" LOL Did they freak out or act weird at first when you told them??
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