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Re: Avoiding old friends
From: Lisa (anonymous@obgyn.net)
Sat, 17 Jun 2000 09:51:15 -0400
I can really relate to not wanting your picture taken. I recently started
'scrapbooking' with friends and they all have wedding pages. I had a very small
wedding and the only pictures I have are ones that other people took. And all this
because I didn't want to look back at my wedding photos and think how fat I look!
Now I have very few photos of a very special day, and can't do anything about it.
Helen H wrote:
> At Fri, 16 Jun 2000, Lynette wrote:
> >I went to the store yesterday and saw an old friend of mine- I turned
> >around and walked back out before she could see me- Not only have I
> >gained 80 lbs.(200 lbs.-5' tall) I just look a mess. My hair is
> >horrible and I can't find anything that fits me right. My face is
> >bloated, its just awful. I have been very depressed!!! Just needed to
> >get this out. I know that there are many who understand!
>
> I can really relate to this thread of conversation. I feel like my
> entire life for the last fifteen years has been 'on hold' due to weight.
> If I lose weight, I make plans to visit family and friends. When I am
> fat as a house, I literally hibernate. I miss my friends and family
> terribly. I am scared that people important to me will die before I
> have lost enough weight to let them see me. I only allow pictures to be
> taken when I am under a size 14. Now at a size 24 I refuse to be any
> where a camera, and hate to go outside. My life feels very dark and
> small when I am this large. I spend much of my time locked inside my
> own head with my thoughts of self hate. The weight is nut one curse,
> and then there are the additional insults like facial hair, and need I
> go on? It takes all my energcy to try and put a happy face on for work
> and for running errands and being out with my husband. Inside I am
> always embarrased and avoid my own reflection at all cost. Sorry for
> the rambling... I'm feeling particularly down these days. Thanks for
> listening.
>
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