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Re: frustratedFrom: anonymous@obgyn.net ("anonymous@obgyn.net")Thu, 20 Mar 2003 12:40:52 -0500
Wow, hun, you have really been thru the worst! *HUG* I've had times when my periods are messed up and would constantly go in for the pregnancy tests. My doctor asked "do you FEEL pregnant?" and each time I'd say "yes....I'm nauseated all the time just like morning sickness!", but I wasn't pregnant. It was even more upsetting to have these symptoms of pregnancy. (There is actually something called "false pregnancy" where a woman's body will go thru some of the changes found in pregnancy, often because she desires it so much.....I've heard that some MEN go thru similar symptoms when their wives are pregnant!) If you've tried the clomid route for nine months without any luck, it may mean you'll have to try the injectible fertility drugs. Did your doctor run tests to see if your body was responding at all to the clomid? (Blood tests to check estrodiol levels and ultrasounds to see how many follicles are stimulated and if they grow in size.) Did the doctor find any blockages in your tubes or other abnormalities that could be preventing you from becoming pregnant? Has your husband been tested for sperm count, mobility, and quality? Have you had post-coital tests to be sure your body doesn't have a reaction to your husband's semen that causes your body to try to "fight off" this "intruder" like you'd fight a virus or something? IF your doctor WAS following follicle development with vaginal ultrasounds, did the technician use a lubricating gel on the probe? I know my tech had read that the gel can sometimes work like a spermicide and so THAT cycle we used plain water instead. I went down the infertility trail years ago....I know they have found a lot of different ways to address the problem than there were when I was going thru it. I know it was horrible for me. I know there were times I'd be invited to baby showers and on that day I couldn't go out the door to go to it...it was just TOO painful. I saw MANY of my friends have successful pregnancies before I even conceived! In spite of some of them trying to be supportive, they'd often say things that hurt deeply because they just DID NOT KNOW what it's like! Yes.....I was blessed with live births....my oldest is 18 and she's my clomid baby. My other is 9 and is my pergonal/metrodin combination baby. The cycle I conceived him was one where nothing seemed to go quite right, the injectibles gave me horrid cramps and I hyperstimulated, BUT it was also the cycle I became pregnant! I thank God for them every day......but I still recall all those painful, lonely years of praying, crying, and stress. My suggestion for you is to SURROUND YOURSELF WITH ENCOURAGERS! If you have friends or family who are NOT encouraging you, then you may need to give yourself some space from them for a while. Perhaps you'll be able to explain to them that you're dealing with a lot of stress and need encouragement and support right now and that you understand they care about you, but right now they're just not able to give you the support you need. Don't feel bad if you are invited to baby showers and just can't put yourself thru it. Another thing you might do is check around to see if there are any infertility support groups in your area. I know RESOLVE was around when I was going thru it, and I think they still are. This group was good because it also allowed the husbands to talk about how the infertility situation affected them. Another suggestion.....BE KIND TO YOURSELF! Pamper yourself a little. Go for a facial. Go to the spa. Visit a friend you've not seen in a while. Try a new hairstyle. Have a "get-away-weekend" with your husband. You deserve it.....YOU ARE WORTH IT!!! While I wish I could promise you your heart's desire, I won't make false promises. I don't know what your future holds. But...I WILL pray for you. Best wishes! Hugs Shelley Original Message: ----------------- From: anonymous@obgyn.net (anonymous) ----------------- Date: Thu, 20 Mar 2003 10:03:46 -0600 ----------------- To: anonymous@obgyn.net Subject: frustrated I was diagnosed with pcos 2 years ago. it took 6 years of painfull periods and literlly hundreds of doc. visits before anyone would believe me that somthing was wrong. I had doctors that told me I was in pain because I didnt know how to wipe myself properly after i took a poo, Then had a nurse explain the procedure to me like i was a 2 year old. The humility made me feel even worse. and the pain become worse. It got to the point that I couldnt even have sex with my husband because the cramping was so intense. all the time I kept gaining more and more weight and didnt know why. my fam was on my case saying I must be eating to much food. i became so depressed and confused. i continued to see diff doctors and con. to re-explain the symptoms over and over. I would go to the ER in the middle of the night balling my eyes out, dizzy and ready to pass out from pain, they would do paps and all I could do was to not to scream from the pain. finally I went to yet another doc. and literlly begged though tears for her to help me. she sent me to a specialist who 2 months later diagnosed me with pcos. I was so stunned that somone acually knew what was wrong and that I wasnt crazy I jumped up and hugged her. She scheduled a surgery to check my fallopian tubes and inject the dye into them, blow them out. it worked for the pain. thank god. I was put on metformin,tylenol 3 and ponstan for my painfull periods then I toke clomid for 9 months. every month was a roller coaster ride, thinking maby this month Ill be preg. then nothing,such highs and lows every month was causing havoc on my marriage and my own thoughts of adequescy as a woman. even my closest friends where keeping their own good news of preg from me cause they didnt want to upset me, which upset me more.finally I needed a break, went off clomid in dec and still no preg. only now my period hasnt come at all last or this month. had a blod test and am not preg. what the hell is going on now! -------------------------------------------------------------------- mail2web - Check your email from the web at -------------------------------------------------------------------- http://mail2web.com/ . -- --------------------------------------------------------------------
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