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Re: Conceived twice...Why can't I get pregnant again? Will I ever? (long)From: anonymous@obgyn.net ("anonymous@obgyn.net")Thu, 6 Dec 2001 12:36:06 -0500
Hi Meli, My heart goes out to you. *HUG* I know only too well the pain and heartache of secondary infertility. I am one of the fortunate ones who has passed thru both primary infertility and again thru secondary infertility. My daughter (she'll be 17 on Dec 18th) is my clomid baby. I watched everyone of childbearing age in our church get pregnant and have babies before she came along. My son is 8. We started trying again when my daughter was 2 years old. So, I consider that we ACTIVELY worked at getting pregnant for a full 6 1/2 years....most of that time was WITH medical involvement. After 5 rounds of Pergonal and Metrodin, we finally had a sucessful cycle!!! I don't know if I could have had more children. There were many, many things "wrong" in my marriage, and things just deteriorated further in the years after my son was born. I was divorced when he was 3. I know you cherish your sons already. I also understand the desire to have a larger family. I remember the times people would ask me "Why can't you be happy with the one you have?" or "Maybe God only wants you to have ONE child." or....(this was from a Christian sister)...."you just need to give it over to God...that's what I did, and I'm pregnant" (she had only tried for a few months, although she did have a miscarriage a few months before conceiving the baby that was "a keeper"). Most people just don't understand unless they've been there in some form. Didn't they realize how I cherished my daughter....how I was on my knees (and in fact, would lie face down) pouring my heart and sorrow to God EVERY day?....And what gives THEM the right to assume what GOD wants for ME? I can't, and won't, make you any promises....but miracles DO happen.....and sometimes the hardest answer to prayer is the "wait" or "Maybe". It sounds like you've got a strong marriage and wonderful family. You've got a lot of blessings, and I am sure you know that. I also know that the cycle I finally conceived on was one where nothing seemed to go quite "as planned". I needed extra fertility injections, and the doctor had given the last of the batches to another patient. I was able to get the Pergonal thru a pharmacy. I experienced a LOT of cramping and abdominal discomfort. When I finally felt I could take no more of it, I told the doctor. He said the egg wasn't quite the size they like to get, but we'd try the Profasi to make me ovulate anyway. I overstimulated and ended up in the hospital for three and a half weeks (over Thanksgiving) with huge watery cysts on both ovaries. I was there for a week before we were certain I was pregnant. (I was at the hospital where my family doctor practices, and no one there was an expert on the fertility trail.) Toward the end of the pregnancy, I again was off my feet because I tried to have early contractions. However, my wonderful son was born alive, full term, whole and healthy. A little brother....just like his big sister had been praying for!!! You don't necessarily need to give up hope just because things aren't going quite according to "medical text". I also understand what it's like to live away from family. In my case, I moved to where my husband's family lived. When we divorced, I believed it was best for my children to live close enough that they could maintain a good relationship with their dad.....and they do. That meant living 700 miles from my parents and sister. I get along with my family (which also includes two brothers) although we're scattered across the country. It's not easy. I have a few really wonderful friends though. During my divorce, I found myself falling back on the things I had learned thru infertility. The main one is to SURROUND YOURSELF WITH ENCOURAGERS!!! I cannot stress the importance of this enough. You may have friends who TRY to encourage you, but end up making you feel worse. They think they're helping, but they say things that hurt you. If you talk to them and they still don't understand, you may need to distance yourself from them for a while. There is nothing wrong about this and you can always renew your friendships at a later time when you've dealt with the stresses you're under....however your resolution comes. You're in my prayers. Hugs, Shelley -------------------------------------------------------------------- mail2web - Check your email from the web at -------------------------------------------------------------------- http://mail2web.com/ . -- --------------------------------------------------------------------
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