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Re: MarriageFrom: anonymous@obgyn.netMon, 8 Jan 2001 06:24:06 -0800
Dear Cyster, You don't mention how old you are, but the younger you are, the better your chances of being able to have biological children. This is not only because of the "natural" ability to have children, but also because medicine is making new discoveries and the medical community is actually beginning to realize that PCOS is a REAL problem and they are finally working on finding answers. Also, just because you've got PCOS does NOT automatically mean you'll never have children. Yes, you may not be as fertile and as quick to ovulate, conceive, and carry to term as our non-PCOS sisters, but it is still possible to have children. My sister has many of the signs of PCOS but didn't have trouble getting pregnant. I, on the other hand, have gone thru infertility twice. My oldest child just turned 16 in December. Brienna is my Clomid baby. This was before I was diagnosed. My second child is 7 1/2. He is the result of many tears, heartaches, prayers, and medical involvement. He was conceived after several cycles of Pergonal and Metrodin combinations. He was born about the time they realized the insulin link of PCOS. I am also on another PCOS list for women in Indiana, USA. We have several women who have found they couldn't conceive even with the super powerful injectible fertility drugs.....however, once the insulin factor was address with medications such as Glucophage, Rezulin, and the like, they were able to have biological children! Some didn't even need any additional fertility meds! Of course, I cannot promise you will be able to have children. I wouldn't insult you by trying to imply you will. But.....it IS possible you may be one of those fortunate women who can have a baby! My suggestion would be to talk your boyfriend about your fears. Explain that it doesn't necessarily mean you won't be able to have children, but that it may take longer and require some medical help. It is NOT a failing on your part! PCOS is like diabetes......or like a broken arm.....it needs to be addressed with medical help and knowledge that is available. I can understand your fears that your boyfriend will reject you or view you as "defective" because you may not be able to have children. Perhaps it's good that you are aware of this already so you can discuss it now, rather than have the strain of infertility tear your marriage apart. It certainly didn't help my marriage when it was already filled with too many things that weren't quite right. I don't have any easy answers, but you'll be in my prayers. If I can help, you can have your boyfriend write me with his questions....although I'm far from an expert! Perhaps others on this list have husbands/boyfriends who can also give him the "male perspective". I think it's just as important that they have a "support system" for coping with a loved one who has PCOS as for those of us who have it. If, after talking with your boyfriend, he should decide that he doesn't want to marry you....it is NOT your failing. He may really love you, but just not be emotionally strong enough to deal with it. Sadly, we don't have the opportunity to decide whether we want to deal with it or not...we're stuck. *HUG* At least we have these wonderful online communities of caring and understanding women who share our frustrations. I wish you the best. Hugs, Shelley spryte@dnsonline.net ============================================== I have been together with my boyfriend for 2 years. We are talking a lot about getting married. He doesn't know that I have PCOS. I want to tell him, but am terrified that he will be scared that we won't be able to have kids. I live abroud, 10,000 miles from my friends and family and have no one to discuss this with. Any thoughts? ----- Sent using MailStart.com ( http://MailStart.Com/welcome.html ) The FREE way to access your mailbox via any web browser, anywhere!
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