Managed Care at the Symphony
From: Barbara Nesbitt (barbara.nesbitt@obgyn.net)
Mon Mar 9 21:43:06 1998
Agustin Olmos MD., Panama, sent me this and I thought you might enjoy
reading it.
>Managed Care at the Symphony:
>
>A managed care company president was given a ticket for a performance of
>Schubert's Unfinished Symphony. Since he was unable to go, he passed the
>invitation to one of his managed care reviewers. The next morning, the
>president asked him how he enjoyed it, and, instead of a few plausible
>observations, he was handed a memorandum which read as follows:
>
>1. For a considerable period, the oboe players had nothing to do. Their
>number should be reduced, and their work spread over the whole orchestra,
>thus avoiding peaks of inactivity.
>
>2. All twelve violins were playing identical notes. This seems
>unnecessary duplication, and the staff of this section should be
>drastically cut. If a large volume of sound is really required, this could
>be obtained through the use of an amplifier.
>
>3. Much effort was involved in playing the sixteenth notes. This seems an
>excessive refinement, and it is recommended that all notes should be
>rounded up to the nearest eighth note. If this were done, it would be
>possible to use paraprofessionals instead of experienced musicians.
>
>4. No useful purpose is served by repeating with horns the passage that
>has already been handled by the strings. If all such redundant passages
>were eliminated, the concert could be reduced from two hours to twenty
>minutes.
>
>5. This symphony had two movements. If Schubert didn't achieve his
>musical goals by the end of the first movement, then he should have stopped
>there. The second movement is unnecessary and should be cut. In light of
>the above, one can only conclude that had Schubert given attention to these
>matters, he probably would have had the time to finish his symphony.
>
Barbara
--
Barbara Nesbitt
Editor, Women's Health at OBGYN.net
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