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(Humor) You Might Be in the Medical Field if...From: Paul Prior MD (pprior@fast.net)Sun Jun 1 20:38:17 1997
This has been around a bit, but thought I'd post it. We have a copy hanging on our labor floor and people initial which one most relates to them.... YOU MIGHT BE IN THE MEDICAL FIELD IF: 1. Discussing dismemberment over a gourmet meal seems normal to you 2. Your idea of a good time is a full code at shift change 3. You find humor in other people's stupidity 4. You believe in the serial spraying of Prozac 5. Your idea of comforting a child is to place him in a papoose restraint 6. You believe that "shallow gene pool" should be a diagnosis 7. You believe that the government should require a permit to reproduce 8. You believe that chocolate is a food group 9. You believe that unspeakable evils will befall you if anyone says "Boy, it sure is quiet" 10. You have ever referred to someone's death as a transfer to the "eternal care center" 11. You hate working nights with a full moon 12. You DON"T think a referral to Dr. Kevorkian is inappropriate 13. You have ever wanted to hold a seminar entitled "Suicide...Getting right the first time" 14. You have had to leave a patient's room before you begin to laugh uncontrollably 15. You think that caffeine should be available in IV form 16. You have ever had to restrain someone and it -=wasn't=- a sexual experience 17. The most commonly uttered phrase after midnight is "what changed tonight at 0200 that makes it an emergency after six months 18. You believe that "too stupid to live" should be a diagnosis 19. You have ever referred to the ER as a "shift magnet" 20. You believe that the waiting room should be supplied with a valium salt lick 21. You have ever wanted a terrorist to deliver a ryder truck to the lab 22. When ordering labs the doctor wants you've wanted to order a "dumbshit profile" 23. When you mention vegetables, you're not referring to a food group 24. You are totally astounded when someone from the lab speaks english 25. Your patient states "I have no idea how it got stuck there" 26. You can identify the "positive teeth vs. tatoo ratio" 27. You encourage an obnoxious patient to sign out AMA just so you no longer have to deal with her 28. You use your status to get out of speeding tickets 29. You use the word "gomer" in a sentence more that once a night 30. You have bets on someone's blood alcohol level 31. You threaten to use "the hose" if your patient won't give you a urine specimen 32. After someone tells you how many drinks they've had your next question is "and just how big where those drinks?" 33. You have your weekends off marked and planned for a year -- Paul Prior MD pprior@fast.net Don't blame me... PGY-III Ob/Gyn I voted for Bob Dole TRHMC-Reading, PA
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