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Funny stuffFrom: Robert Brenner (robbrenner@earthlink.net)Tue Oct 29 11:22:58 1996
Below you will find some e-mail from my son at college. Since this wonderful stuff is costing me about $25000 per year, I thought the least I could do was share it with the group.
-- Robert Brenner MD Baltimore MD Robbrenner@earthlink.net >> >>> >>>>From a newspaper contest where entrants were asked to imitate >>>"DeepThoughts" by Jack Handey, from Saturday Night Live. Winning entrants >>>are at the end: >>> >>> Honorable Mentions: >>> >>> My young son asked me what happens after we die. I told him we >>> get buried under a bunch of dirt and worms eat our bodies. I >>> guess I should have told him the truth-- that most of us go to >>> Hell and burn eternally-- but I didn't want to upset him. >>> >>> It sure would be nice if we got a day off for the president's >>> birthday, like they do for the queen. Of course, then we would >>> have a lot of people voting for a candidate born on July 3 or >>> December 26, just for the long weekends. >>> >>> Democracy is a beautiful thing, except for that part about >>> letting just any old yokel vote. >>> >>> Home is where the house is. >>> >>> Often, when I am reading a good book, I stop and thank my >>> teacher. That is, I used to, until she got an unlisted number. >>> >>> You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him gargle. >>> >>> As you make your way through this hectic world of ours, set aside >>> a few minutes each day. At the end of the year, you'll have a >>> couple of days saved up. >>> >>> It would be terrible if the Red Cross Bloodmobile got into an >>> accident. No, wait. That would be good because if anyone needed >>> it, the blood would be right there. >>> >>> Give me the strength to change the things I can, the grace to >>> accept the things I cannot, and a great big bag of money. >>> >>> The people who think Tiny Tim is strange are the same ones who >>> think it odd that I drive without pants. >>> >>> For centuries, people thought the moon was made of green cheese. >>> Then the astronauts found that the moon as really a big hard >>> rock. That's what happens to cheese when you leave it out. >>> >>> Think of the biggest number you can. Now add five. Then, imagine >>> if you had that many Twinkies. Wow, that's five more than the >>> biggest number you could come up with! >>> >>> I bet living in a nudist colony takes all the fun out of >>> Halloween. >>> >>> The only stupid question is the one that is never asked, except >>> maybe "Don't you think it is about time you audited my return?" >>> or "Isn't is morally wrong to give me a warning when, in fact, I >>> was speeding?" >>> >>> Once, I wept for I had no shoes. Then I came upon a man who had >>> no feet. So I took his shoes. I mean, it's not like he really >>> needed them, right? >>> >>> When I go to heaven, I want to see my grandpa again. But he >>> better have lost the nose hair and the old-man smell. >>> >>> I believe you should live each day as if it is your last, which >>> is why I don't have any clean laundry, because, come on, who >>> wants to wash clothes on the last day of their life? >>> >>> I often wonder how come John Tesh isn't as popular singer as some >>> people think he should be. Then, I remember it's because he >>> sucks. >>> >>> Whenever I start getting sad about where I am in my life, I think >>> about the last words of my favorite uncle: "A truck!" >>> >>> If you really want to impress people with your computer literacy, >>> add the words "dot com" to the end of everything you say, dot >>> com. >>> >>> I like to go down to the dog pound and pretend that I've found my >>> dog. Then I tell them to kill it anyway because I already gave >>> away all of his stuff. >>> Dog people sure don't have a sense of humor. >>> >>> THIRD RUNNER UP >>> >>> I don't know about you, but I enjoy watching paint dry. I imagine >>> that the wet paint is a big freshwater lake that is the only >>> source of water for some tiny cities by the lake. As the lake >>> gets drier, the population gets more desperate, and sometimes >>> there are water riots. Once there was a big fire and everyone >>> died. >>> >>> SECOND RUNNER UP >>> >>> I once heard the voice of God. It said "Vrrrrmmmmm." Unless it >>> was just a lawn mower. >>> >>> FIRST RUNNER UP >>> >>> I gaze at the brilliant full moon. The same one, I think to >>> myself, at which Socrates, Aristotle, and Plato gazed. Suddenly, >>> I imagine they appear beside me. I tell Socrates about the >>> national debate over one's right to die and wonder at the >>> constancy of the human condition. I tell Plato that I live in the >>> country that has come the closest to Utopia, and I show him a >>> copy of the Constitution. I tell Aristotle that we have found >>> many more than four basic elements and I show him a periodic >>> table. I get a box of kitchen matches and strike one. They gasp >>> with wonder. We spend the rest of the night lighting >>> farts. >>> >>> WINNER >>> >>> If we could just get everyone to close their eyes and visualize >>> world peace for an hour, imagine how serene and quiet it would >>> be, until the looting started. >>>
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Mail a New Message to the Forum: ob-gyn-l@obgyn.net Forum Administrator: geffrey.klein@obgyn.net Report Technical Problems: webmaster@obgyn.net Last Updated: Mon Nov 2 05:19:45 2009 |
The American Medical Association is no longer designating CME hours for AMA Category II CME credit. However, physicians themselves may self designate learning activities as Category II CME credit hours if they feel it is of sufficient educational merit and meets the formal definitions of continuing medical education. OBGYN.net believes these interaction in this forum meets these criteria. For further information see the AMA web site.