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Humorous reliefFrom: Bert Gold (bgold@itsa.ucsf.EDU)Wed Apr 17 19:20:16 1996
And my wife says I have NO sense of humor. I thought this was verrrrry funnny, Subject: (fwd) The McDonald's / PacifiCare merger From: markm@ucsfresno.edu (Mark Metzler) The New York Times April 15, 1996 The CEOs of McDonald's Food Corp and PacifiCare Inc. appeared together at a joint news conference Friday, to announce the upcoming merger of the nation's largest fast food chain with the California-based HMO. McDonald's entry into the healthcare arena began with their sponsorship of the Ronald McDonald's Charity Home, providing living accomodations for children whose parents were hospitalized. Now with major closures of public hospitals across the country, along with the trend among HMOs toward home-based care instead of hospital-based care, and the resulting development of Ronald McDonald's Home-Based Care Program, the executives said that it became prudent to combine the two services into one faster, and more efficient delivery system. Because of the vast franchise holdings of McDonald's, and the PacifiCare's leading name in the healthcare industry, this merger is expected to result in the largest HMO in the world. "There will be a place for the kids to play, and the family to eat, while a family member is getting medical care. 'Quality food and quality medical care in one easy stop!' will be the motto." It is anticipated that there will be some layoffs as a result of the merger. For example, it is expected that the jobs being performed by the pharmacy staff of PacifiCare, will be taken over by the McDonald's employees currently staffing the drive-through food service. "No more long waiting to fill your prescriptions!", declared one CEO. Preventive medicine, which is the major product now being delivered by HMOs, needs to be subjected to market forces, if we are to be able to deliver medical care efficiently, explained the executives. McDonald's Nutrition Department, already has an excellent track-record in efficiency and quality control, and will be in charge of developing the preventive medicine procedures provided by the HMO. The market responded favorably with the stocks of each corporation nearly doubling. It is expected that a major round of mergers will follow between the remaining fast food chains, and the nation's other leading HMO's.
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