Re: Humerous Interlude...Take 2!
From: art fougner, md (evsono@pipeline.com)
Wed Mar 20 13:38:50 2002
No BS for sure LOL - btw was this written using a Gateway computer? just
asking...
art
At Wed, 20 Mar 2002, Douglas J Krell MD wrote:
>
>HUMEROUS INTERLUDE.......take TWO
>
>>>----- Original Message -----
>From: <Gbferguson@aol.com>
>To: <Doc-Net@nmms.org>
>Cc: <Krc1234@aol.com>
>Sent: Wednesday, March 20, 2002 11:07 AM
>Subject: (Doc-Net) Joke: Cows and politics
>
>> A true equal opportunity joke attempts to offend all parties and all
>> nationalities equally.
>> Bruce Ferguson
>> ABQ
>>
>> Subject: Cows
>>
>> THE "TWO-COW THEORY" OF WHAT MAKES......
>>
>> A CHRISTIAN:
>> You have two cows. You keep one and give one to your neighbor.
>>
>> A SOCIALIST:
>> You have two cows. The government takes one and gives it to your
>neighbor.
>>
>> A REPUBLICAN:
>> You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. So what?
>>
>> A DEMOCRAT:
>> You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for being
>> successful. You vote people into office who tax your cows, forcing you to
>> sell one to raise money to pay the tax. The people you voted for then take
>> the tax money and buy a cow and give it to your neighbor. You feel
>righteous.
>>
>> A COMMUNIST:
>> You have two cows. The government seizes both and provides you with milk.
>>
>> A FASCIST:
>> You have two cows. The government seizes both and sells you the milk. You
>> join the underground and start a campaign of sabotage.
>>
>> DEMOCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE:
>> You have two cows. The government taxes you to the point you have to sell
>> both to support a man in a foreign country who has only one cow, which was
>a
>> gift from your government.
>>
>> CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE:
>> You have two cows. You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.
>>
>> BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE:
>> You have two cows. The government takes them both, shoots one, milks the
>> other, pays you for the milk, then pours the milk down the drain.
>>
>> AN AMERICAN CORPORATION:
>> You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk
>of
>> four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead.
>>
>> A FRENCH CORPORATION:
>> You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.
>>
>> A JAPANESE CORPORATION:
>> You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an
>> ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
>>
>> A GERMAN CORPORATION:
>> You have two cows. You reengineer them so they live for 100 years, eat
>once a
>> month, and milk themselves.
>>
>> AN ITALIAN CORPORATION:
>> You have two cows but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.
>>
>> A RUSSIAN CORPORATION:
>> You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count
>> them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you
>> have 12 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.
>>
>> A MEXICAN CORPORATION:
>> You think you have two cows, but you don't know what a cow looks like. You
>> take a nap.
>>
>> A SWISS CORPORATION:
>> You have 5000 cows, none of which belongs to you. You charge for storing
>them
>> for others.
>>
>> A BRAZILIAN CORPORATION:
>> You have two cows. You enter into a partnership with an American
>corporation.
>> Soon you have 1000 cows and the American corporation declares bankruptcy.
>>
>> AN INDIAN CORPORATION:
>> You have two cows. You worship them.
>>
>> THE TALIBAN
>> You have two cows. You turn them loose in the Afghan "countryside" and
>they
>> both die. You blame the godless American infidels.
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--
art fougner, md
ich bin ein New Yorker
