Humerous Interlude...Take 2!
From: Douglas J Krell MD (djkrell@ix.netcom.com)
Wed Mar 20 12:27:31 2002
HUMEROUS INTERLUDE.......take TWO
>----- Original Message -----
From: Gbferguson@aol.com
To: <Doc-Net@nmms.org>
Cc: <Krc1234@aol.com>
Sent: Wednesday, March 20, 2002 11:07 AM
Subject: (Doc-Net) Joke: Cows and politics
> A true equal opportunity joke attempts to offend all parties and all
> nationalities equally.
> Bruce Ferguson
> ABQ
>
> Subject: Cows
>
> THE "TWO-COW THEORY" OF WHAT MAKES......
>
> A CHRISTIAN:
> You have two cows. You keep one and give one to your neighbor.
>
> A SOCIALIST:
> You have two cows. The government takes one and gives it to your
neighbor.
>
> A REPUBLICAN:
> You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. So what?
>
> A DEMOCRAT:
> You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for being
> successful. You vote people into office who tax your cows, forcing you to
> sell one to raise money to pay the tax. The people you voted for then take
> the tax money and buy a cow and give it to your neighbor. You feel
righteous.
>
> A COMMUNIST:
> You have two cows. The government seizes both and provides you with milk.
>
> A FASCIST:
> You have two cows. The government seizes both and sells you the milk. You
> join the underground and start a campaign of sabotage.
>
> DEMOCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE:
> You have two cows. The government taxes you to the point you have to sell
> both to support a man in a foreign country who has only one cow, which was
a
> gift from your government.
>
> CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE:
> You have two cows. You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.
>
> BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE:
> You have two cows. The government takes them both, shoots one, milks the
> other, pays you for the milk, then pours the milk down the drain.
>
> AN AMERICAN CORPORATION:
> You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk
of
> four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead.
>
> A FRENCH CORPORATION:
> You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.
>
> A JAPANESE CORPORATION:
> You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an
> ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
>
> A GERMAN CORPORATION:
> You have two cows. You reengineer them so they live for 100 years, eat
once a
> month, and milk themselves.
>
> AN ITALIAN CORPORATION:
> You have two cows but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.
>
> A RUSSIAN CORPORATION:
> You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count
> them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you
> have 12 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.
>
> A MEXICAN CORPORATION:
> You think you have two cows, but you don't know what a cow looks like. You
> take a nap.
>
> A SWISS CORPORATION:
> You have 5000 cows, none of which belongs to you. You charge for storing
them
> for others.
>
> A BRAZILIAN CORPORATION:
> You have two cows. You enter into a partnership with an American
corporation.
> Soon you have 1000 cows and the American corporation declares bankruptcy.
>
> AN INDIAN CORPORATION:
> You have two cows. You worship them.
>
> THE TALIBAN
> You have two cows. You turn them loose in the Afghan "countryside" and
they
> both die. You blame the godless American infidels.
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